These were my thoughts on the 4th of April; This past year has been one of the hardest journeys any of us could have imagined. Grief has come in waves—sometimes quiet and heavy, sometimes overwhelming and unexpected. We’ve felt sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of guilt for laughing or smiling again. Every emotion has been real, and every one of them has been a reflection of how deeply we love her. There isn’t a single day that has gone by without thinking of Sonja. Not one moment where she hasn’t been missed. The pain of losing her has changed us all, and in many ways, it always will. But I also know that I can’t live in the “what ifs” or in what could have been. As hard as it is, I won’t dwell there. Instead, I choose to honor Sonja’s memory by focusing on the beautiful life she did live—the love she gave, the joy she brought, and the light she left behind in all of us. So today, as much as this day marks one year without her, I’m choosing to see it differently. I’m choosing not to focus on the day we lost her—but on the 6,093 days we had her. Because to me, 6,093 days will always be greater than one. 6,093 days of her laughter. 6,093 days of her light. 6,093 days of memories, love, and moments that shaped who she was and who we are because of her. Those days mattered. Her life mattered. And her love didn’t end—it lives on in every one of us, in the way we remember her, speak her name, and carry her forward. Today is not just about grief. It’s about honoring Sonja—her life, her spirit, and the love she gave so freely. It’s about holding onto those 6,093 days and letting them shine brighter than the darkness of this one. Thank you, Toni 🫶🏼

I lost my beautiful daughter on the 4th of April 2025. She was 16 and full of life and loved by everyone. I'm here for support for myself and my youngest daughter who is struggling with guilt.