š The Monks Cowl Midnight Splashdown
We arrived at Monks Cowl just as the Drakensberg sky decided to reenact the opening scene of The Lion King, but with more lightning and significantly less singing. The ādryā riverbed beside the campsite had transformed into a fastāmoving, ankleādeep ribbon of water that looked suspiciously pleased with itself. By the time the storm eased, it was pitchāblack ā the kind of darkness that feels like it has mass. I insisted we set up the tent anyway, because nothing says ācompetent outdoorsmanā like hammering pegs into soggy ground while muttering motivational phrases to yourself. The tent went up at a jaunty angle, but it was upright, and at that point I considered that a triumph. Hours later, nature called. Loudly. Persistently. Rudely. Armed with a torch that flickered like it was powered by regret, I set off toward the ablution block ā guided only by a faint glow in the distance that I hoped was a bathroom and not someoneās car headlights. The ground squelched. The air smelled of wet grass and poor decisions. Then came the moment. My foot found⦠nothing. Absolutely nothing. Followed immediately by cold, rushing, very wet something. I plunged into the newly resurrected riverbed with all the grace of a startled wildebeest. My torch flew out of my hand, performed a brief aerial ballet, and landed beamādown in the water, illuminating my flailing like a spotlight on a very confused amphibian. There was a splash loud enough to wake the ancestors. I emerged, soaked from the waist down, hair plastered to my forehead, dignity leaking away like runoff after the storm. And then ā because the universe has a sense of humour ā a voice drifted from the darkness: āShame, are you okay there?ā Not a helpful voice. Not a sympathetic voice. A voice belonging to someone who had clearly witnessed the entire aquatic performance from the comfort of their dry, elevated campsite. I croaked out something like, āYes, just⦠inspecting the water quality,ā and sloshed my way to the ablutions, leaving a trail that could have been followed by rescue dogs.