@Zina Zinchenko I used to think taking time for me required solid blocks of time which require planning and end up being counter productive 🤦‍♀️ I’ve now got a handful of tiny go to’s now that over time are proving to be the response instead of pushing though - Sensory things: warm drink, cold water on my hand/wrists or face, sunshine on my skin is always first choice! - Orientation: I might look out the window, or step outside. I notice the sky ahead of a lot of other options… images that the clouds form. Birds flying by. Very much here and now observations. Great to do with kids too esp if there’s a bit of overwhelm building. Very normal parent feeling I think , sometimes you can’t walk away for 2mins so I invite them in 😉 - Press palms together distributing pressure on side to the other or push up against a wall - allowing myself to feel held or supported behind my back - I have noticed I hold myself in a hug sometimes - I wasn’t aware initially but it was as if I was holding myself together but it might be more along the lines of seeking support or connecting back to body. - Of course - nothing - literally staying as I am (maybe I’ve just arrived home and still in the car) I’ll just sit for a few minutes before getting out - Physiological sigh - if there’s no where to go no where to stop no where to hide - this is like a little treat - a little laugh at the world if you will - “you can try but I’m not going to let you win” None of these take longer than 2mins - the most difficult part has been remembering to go to these resources in the moments I’ve needed them. I try to do one of these everyday irrespective…. The practice is the hardest part. When you don’t need to it’s easy to wash over the daily “check-in” but I’m getting there. I had to start with a little habit tracker on my fridge - I’m still very much human, but that’s ok … I’d rather forget sometimes than to have not yet started at all. I do recall the resistance to starting though - it seems crazy but that’s the nervous system I guess. Intention/action gap??

@Zina Zinchenko the practice! The number of times people (including myself until I learned differently) think what’s a single breath going to do. Or something else comparatively insignificant to the issue that feels so much more. Well… one day it might be enough to you back off the ledge Over many days practice accumulates - like everything walking, talking, driving … you keep trying, you keep showing up. That intention action gap is real - I do get that. No one else can do it for you. I think that’s the imprint/belief I am trying break. Perhaps I (like many others stuck) was loved too much ….? It’s tough to watch your kid struggle. Kid sized lessons are much easier! None the less here we are - moving forward 😉 Thank you for this space

That word “perfectly” I often wonder where that expectation came from… As children before we walked we fell many times until one day suddenly we could run. Crunching gears learning to drive - practiced skills are now automated to the point we can now drive, do makeup, talk on the phone, juggle kids and if needs must, hold audience with Rihanna, Beyoncé or otherwise without dropping a note. (Not me of course someone else 😉) Yet the concept of saying no instead of yes. Asking for help with all the things out of the question. Or stepping back, letting a friend or family member figure it out themselves is excruciatingly painful and requires so much energy going the other way… not to mention the self doubt or guilt that follows as we mental loop all night as a result. We forget we are human sometimes For some reason we also forget to give ourselves the grace to take our time, to make mistakes and value ourselves enough to simply show up, as we are. Not perfect Not knowing all the answers Unsure but prepared to do it anyway allowing ourselves to feel into the sensations and let the body lead.., Terrifying Yet driving whilst performing circus tricks … not an issue. Potentially so much more disastrous - totally ok with that. 🤦‍♀️ I’m learning that perfectly imperfect is actually a thing - and slowly but surely I’m becoming ok with that. 😉 It takes time to create a new sense of safety … it takes showing up for you even on the days you don’t feel worthy (more so on those days than any other) Accept yourself as you are Allow the path to unfold Be kind to yourself You’ll get to where you need to go perfectly When you accept it’s ok to be imperfect 😉 Do what you can as you can. Simple movements. Patience. Awareness in the moment. It all counts …