I am notorious for choosong the man in the room who is the most toxic. I am finally divorced from one after 5 years and before that it was nothing but abuse. That abuse led me to drugs which led me to the 'man' I just divorced from. I didn't grow up with an absent father or an abusive one. As a matter of fact my parents just celebrated 56 years of marriage in August. They never argue or fight and never have. So my pattern is not of the norm. I do know I'm an empath who we attract narcissists for the most part. The night my ex beat me in front of my girls we literally ran from him like a lifetime movie...and I promised them I'd never allow that again to happen. I intend to keep that promise but now it's been almost 4 years since that awful night and I won't lie it's been a scary thought to think about allowing another man near me or us. I've gotten to the point where I always think there is an ulterior motive, i can't accept that anyone would actually genuinely be interested in me, and being alone for the rest of my life seems to be a more attractive scenario in my head than anything else. I'm new to skool and hopefully this group can help me see relationships a little differently. Oh, and my name is liz