how to stop thinking about a girl who likes someone else? I'm close friends with her and i dont want to lose her as a friend. I'm not wrecked over it or anything because I didnt allow myself to get too attached but I sometimes feel a little bit sad that we cant be together because theres someone else already in the picture. Shes an amazing person and I'm happy for her and the guy shes talking to

I was moved to write this by a post from @Diego Kang. When we think of concepts like romantic love, attraction, friendship etc. they are just that...faceless concepts. Then, a person comes along who becomes the face of that concept. Neuro-science has proven that when we remember something or someone, we are not actually remembering them. We are remembering the last time we remembered them. That's why memories gradually change over time. Like a photocopy of a photocopy times 1000. Errors creep in. When our concept of, say attraction, gets the face of a person, it is very difficult for our mind to disconnect the two and go back to attraction being a faceless concept. It does not know how to edit them out of the photocopy. Now enter a new person we are attracted to. Suddenly THEY become the face of the concept and they replace the old face. Replacement like this is not the only way to disconnect the two, but in my experiences, it is the most common. The reason is that other methods tend to take a very long time and involve shifting both the conscious and subconscious mind. Most of the time, we meet someone else before that happens.