Okay, ngl, you people surprised me. When I put up a thread asking for your help on the new About Page, I thought version 1 would win in a landslide. But the voting is (basically) in and 3 eked out win. Of course we're still waiting on mail in ballots. So everything could change overnight. However, the consensus seemed to be that 3 projected authority. Or as Carmen would say, "Respect my authorita!" Confession time, I LOVED Version 1. It encapsulates exactly how I feel about the art of writing. A great script isn't just a story. It's a magic trick... It's the one that sounds/feels like me. @Krystel Biasotti hit that on the head. But @Diane Whiddon and @Shauna G had great insight as to what was actually working on the page. So I incorporated what I loved, and for the rest... I killed my darlings, as any writer worth his weight in printer ink will do. @Jason Smith and @Laura Chick Reden had great advice too. Very much appreciate all who weighed in! Gave me a lot of clarity. And that's what we do here. With that said, here's the winner. We've had about 10 people join since I posted, so it seems to be hitting with the folks who count. Hybrid Version: A great script isn’t just a story. It’s a magic trick. For 25 years, studios called me when a script was broken & the shoot date was locked. I knew how to read and cut straight to what's actually wrong — beneath the plot, down to the emotional engine that makes a script breathe or die on the page. Most writers never get access to that level of thinking. They read books on formulaic structure but never learn how to make an audience give a damn. They get vague notes from anonymous script services and are left to flounder on their own. That's not what we do here.

Edit: Based on your notes, a Hybrid Model has been created! It's below, after Version 3. I can't change the poll since it's already gotten votes, but @Shauna G vouches for it. So, see ya'll. I take notes too! Original Post: People, people, I've been obsessing over the About Page — the first thing a potential member sees before deciding whether to join. I've got three versions. I know which one I prefer. Drop your vote below. And if you want to tell me why, even better. Which would make you want to join? And which sounds the most like me? That's the kind of feedback that actually helps. Thanks, Dave Version 1: A great script isn't a story. It's a magic trick. The books can't teach you this. Because most of those writers haven't lived it. A great script is a seduction from Page One. An invitation to forget every other script in the pile and lose yourself completely. When an agent sits down to read, they're not hoping to love it — they're hoping to hate it as fast as possible so they can press delete and move tf on. The last thing they expect is to be surprised. To feel. To, dare we say it, laugh & cry. If you can do that — you separate yourself from formulaic Save the Cat journeys that reads like they were assembled in a lab, not breathed into existence by someone that gives a damn. Someone an agent can't wait to meet. I'm J. David Stem — Shrek 2, $2.5B in box office. ✅ Live Hot Seat coaching ✅ The Emotional Authorship framework ✅ Real feedback from someone who sells for a living ✅ A real community that gives a damn and is growing together Join now. Serious writers only. Spots, like talent, are limited. Version 2: For serious writers who want to write work that actually feels alive — not just follow formulas. Inside this community you’ll learn how professional writers develop characters, voice, and story from the inside out — so your scripts hit with emotional impact that separates you from the crowd of formulaic Save the Cat clones.

This comment absolutely delighted me. Maybe I'm being petty, but after seeing the amazing pages and ways writers are transforming in this morning session, I got a notification that Don just doesn't approve of what we are doing here at all. Here's the Ad: I'm J. David Stem, Fancy Hollywood Writer Just let it be a reminder, that no matter what your intentions, no matter how good your pages, the world is full of Don Tuttles. Sometimes it feels like... it's Tuttles all the way down! So, keep your head down and focused on YOUR work and what YOU can control. And lets the Tuttles of the world do Tuttle things. Not. Your. Concern.

FB ad currently running. I have a whole series planned. How you like this vibe? You have to click to see the whole ad.

I'm so glad to see this community coming together. I just want to make sure I'm creating resources that actually help. My journey as a writer has taken me through every stage of doubt/second-guessing and wild eyed confidence that flows each and every one of us! So I want to hear what vibes with you! What would be most helpful: - Getting the patient on the table -- finishing that messy first draft - Rewrites -- diagnosing what's broken and how to fix it - Character work -- my Emotional Authorship method (Wound→Lie→Healing) - Pitching & loglines -- grabbing attention without sounding desperate - Procrastination -- working with your brain instead of against it - Consistency over perfection -- showing up matters more than being brilliant. Stop beating yourself up. - Confidence -- facing the blank page when you feel like "who am I kidding?" - The business -- I can bring in my former agent and TV writers who taught at USC/AFI - Writing together -- body doubling sessions. Cams on, 30 minutes, no talking. Just write. - Using AI as a thinking partner -- I've built a GPT based on my coaching that helps you ask better questions about your story. Not to write it for you, but to show you new ways to think about it. Rave reviews from those who have tried it. You can find The Primal Forge GPT here, along with reviews. - Courses -- like The Full Journey (idea to finished script), Character Deep Dive, Rewrite Rescue, others? Drop a comment. What's keeping you up at night? What would actually move the needle for you? Let's make this place what you need it to be. Oh, and don't forget Story Hot Seat Monday at 10 a.m. PST where you bring whatever you're working on and get clear direction on how to move ahead. And we've got a Script Hot Seat with Vanlyfe by @Elliot Evans on Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. You can pick up that script here.