What Are You Really Focusing On? Five years deep into chronic illness, I finally started dating again. Met someone I really connected with & we were both smitten with each other. For the first time in forever, I felt like a normal human being instead of a walking symptom list. But then I sensed a shift in my gut as I felt her distance herself. I was filled with anxiety. Should I call? Should I not call...? The thoughts in my mind were tearing me apart so I called, and what I heard changed everything. "Ryan, you're great... but I can't do this. All you talk about is your illness. What you can't do. Your limitations. I just can't be with someone like that." Gut. Punch. But here's the thing...she was absolutely right. Nobody else had the guts to tell me. Not my family. Not my friends. They tiptoed around it, trying to be supportive. But she held up a mirror I desperately needed to see. I didn't even realize I'd been doing it. Every conversation filtered through "what if I crash" or "I can't eat this or go to that restaurant." My entire identity had collapsed into being sick. And the brutal truth? What I was focusing on, I was getting more of...we get more of what we focus on. I was pouring all my attention into symptoms, limitations, staying safe. And shocker, I stayed stuck at 75% recovery for years . But that conversation changed everything. I made a choice. Stopped talking about my illness. Stopped making it the center of my world. Stopped defining myself by what I couldn't do, and I started living my life as if I was the healed version of myself. Within a couple months? 75% jumped to 85-90%. Not because I found some magic protocol. Not because I added another supplement. Because I changed what I was paying attention to. I stopped hyperfocusing on every symptom (which kept my nervous system locked in fight-or-flight). Started doing things again. Stopped being so damn afraid of living. By spring I had more energy than I'd had in years. Working out. Seeing friends & going out to social events again. Actually participating in life instead of managing it from the sidelines.