Powerful points in this article! Two things that stood out to me: 1) This (creating a family of choice) is a very important stage in our development. AND, hopefully, at some future stage, one can also examine their roots from a detached place. Not from the interpersonal narrative (eg "I can't rely on them" - usually true!) but from the ancestral narrative arc - eg "my people are farmers, here's how we connect with land." This can ground us in ways that chosen family cannot. Part of colonization was severing our connection to our ancestors, to the soil and waters, to our roots. 2) Often, the patterns of dysfunction that plague our biological families can creep into families of choice, too - it's not about individuals - it's systemic codependence - designed to keep us from our sovereignty. So I would add that there is value in having some sort of 'educational initiation' that involves learning how to communicate and operate from a place of personal, interpersonal, and systemic sovereignty. This is what the spaces I hold offer, and yet I am one of many space holders. Whoever you trust, ask them to help your chosen family learn these foundational skills. Your future selves will thank you!

Beautifully written article! So so so true. I salute the Black man who is working through trauma wounds. I know it is not easy at all. I know it can sometimes feel like death. Thank you for your courage. I was taught to hide any "dark" emotions. Sadness, anger, rage, depression... all good, though. I'm glad I stubbornly didn't comply! 😅😅😅

My goal: move to a rural place where I can get my toes in the soil every day, and be in a slower pace. Important for my health / nervous system! Thank you for posting, @Jen S. 💛🙏🏾🫶🏾