There are times that I know I've stepped back from having straight forward conversations or more passively hinted at things in hopes that the person would pick up the cues and read between the lines and somehow just know what it was that I needed/wanted. In the past I (and others) confused this with "being nice" but what it really did was build up feelings of hurt, disappointed and sometimes anger and the other person didn't even have a clue. Things have changed for the most part, though there are certainly times when this still happens-- typically it's some sort of fear of disconnection that drives it. Funny enough, passivity ends up disconnecting more than just stating things clearly. Communicating your needs can feel like walking a tightrope. Too soft and you’re overlooked. Too strong and you risk coming off as aggressive. Assertive communication is the middle ground — confident, respectful, and grounded in self-awareness. What It Is Assertive communication means expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs directly while also respecting others’ boundaries (!) It’s about honesty without hostility and confidence without control. It often sounds like, “I feel ___ when ___ happens, and I need ___.” What It Isn’t It isn’t passive (avoiding your needs to keep the peace--i've been guilty of this) or aggressive (demanding or invalidating others). It also isn’t manipulative-it’s transparent, not guilt-driven. Examples of Assertive Communication: “I can’t take on another task right now.” “I value our friendship, and I need some space to process.” "I value our friendship and when this happens I don't feel like I matter. I'd like it if we could talk this out and come up with something that works for both of us" “When meetings start late, I feel stressed. Can we begin on time?” “No, thank you — that doesn’t work for me.” (There may still be opportunities to work through our own reactions- someone else doesn't have to "fix" a problem that may be ours, but perhaps they can come by our side and be collaborators).

I'd love to get a list going of people's favorite books or current reads! (or if you've written a book yourself, feel free to share that as well!). If you'd be so inclined, please feel free to share in this space. Also, if there's a book you would NOT recommend, share that too. I'm curious! My current reads: The scout mindset How to win Friends and influence people The Bible-trying to make this a daily habit My most recent reads: The rhythm of Life The art of communicating The power of now Podvig Thinking Fast and Slow An Arsenal of Gratitude-Waging War on Mediocrity and Regret aaaand pissed off with a purpose: waging war on Fear(shoutout to @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac --it's written by him and they're both fantastic!--made me want to throw the book on the bed and go do amazing things!). The Bible Dune Crazy busy The Great Alone In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addictions Fight Club Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder Disappointment with God Kasher in the Rye (NOT to be confused with Catcher in the Rye) Favorite Books: Man's Search for meaning-viktor frankl Elements-Transfiguration of Elijah -anonymous priest in the oriental orthodox church Daring Greatly (and a bunch of Brene Brown's other work--Gifts of Imperfection; I thought it was just me but it wasn't; Braving the Wilderness) Screwtape Letters and the Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis Atomic Habits Brother's Karamazov and Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky Welcome to the Orthodox Church by Fredericka Matthews Greene (I'll continue adding, these are just top of mind right now! ) Thank you for the inspiration @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac Please add to the list: @Aleksandra Nedelkoski @Anastasia Cocioaba @Andres Mateo @George Arhip @Loren Angelo @Britni Burton @Tim Blacke @Christa Lovas @Anastasia Cocioaba @LaTanya Carter @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac @David Pepper @David Pepper @Dayna Kanouna @Dr. Melissa Partaka @John D @Rachel Featherstone @Julia Groth @William Guy @Kimberly Poirier @Lisa Papiez @Lisa Vanderveen @Mary Seguin @Michael Mcknight @Michelle Mann @Moni Matysiak @Rina Maniou @Ronnie McCabe @Peter Oconnell @Ruth aka Grace Rose @Ryanne Ryan @Tracy Stewart @Adriana Filip @Jennifer Doppke @Anna Lh @Brittany Hone @Chris Wendt @Jose Colon @Yvonne Green @Linda Short @Nicole Johnson @Julie Nelson @Stephanie Riley @Tharuk M @Vasi Smith @Wesley Penner @Chris Wendt

Hello! 😀 Welcome to a community that will serve to empower you to live your most fulfilled life! Excited for us to be part of a supportive environment where we will be encouraged to explore and increase self-awareness, gain perspective, develop insight, take action and thrive through our journey in life. ♥ I believe that you have value and worth and who you are as a person matters and this will guide many of the posts that you will see. Posts will take into consideration the different dimensions of life: social, emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual, occupational, etc. 💡You are welcome and ENCOURAGED to share material, insights, inspirations, questions, and anything that you think that will be helpful towards growth.💡 ❤️Let's live wholeheartedly and with intention!!! ❤️ So honored to be part of this journey with you! Thank you for allowing me to be part of it. 🙂 🌟Please introduce yourself and also share something that brings you joy and makes you feel alive🌟 ***Feel free to self promote either here or under the life wins category***