This was a question in The Remarkable Man Newsletter on LinkedIn and I thought you might relate to this. I know I did. Question: "Coach, I've gone quiet at home. Whatever I do, it's wrong. The dishes, the parenting, the way I answered a question, all of it. So I stopped engaging. I go cold, I keep my answers short, and I spend more time in the garage or at the office than I need to. Honestly, I think I'm just protecting my peace. She says I've checked out. I say I'm done being the bad guy. Is going silent really so bad if I'm just tired of losing?" - Norman S. Answer: Brother, I'm going to start by saying I know exactly where you're standing, because I've stood there myself. I know the fatigue of feeling like nothing you do lands right, and I know how convincing the silence feels from the inside. It feels like strength. It feels like you're finally putting a boundary in place. It isn't, because the resentment smoulders. And I care too much about you and your marriage to pretend otherwise. Call It For What It Is Going cold is not a boundary. It's a withdrawal. A boundary says, "Here is what I will and won't accept, and here is what I'm going to do about it." Silence says nothing at all. It leaves her guessing, and it leaves you with the story that you're the one who has been wronged. That story is where the trouble sits. When you decide you're done being wrong, you quietly hand your power to the very person you feel powerless against. You have made her behaviour the author of your behaviour. That is victim energy, even when it wears the costume of a calm, composed man who just doesn't engage anymore. You said you're protecting your peace. Look closely at what that peace costs. Silence doesn't protect a marriage, it starves it. Every night you stay cold, she learns that reaching for you gets her nothing, and she either pushes harder or she stops reaching altogether. Either way, the distance grows. Why Good Men Go Quiet Most men who end up here are not lazy or unfeeling. They are usually conscientious men who hate failing. When they feel like they are failing at home no matter how hard they try, the nervous system picks the fastest exit from the pain, and that exit is shutting down.

Brother, I'm sure you've watched a few videos and maybe even throw in a prompt of two to AI to give you the secret sauce on changing the calibre of your relationship or your life. Yes, by now you know the distinction from being the "Nice Guy" and being a "Good Man". However, most "Good Men" men are still finding themselves struggling in the friend zone or in a relationship that lacks passion and sexual fire. This all comes down to a couple of factors: 1. Edge! Yes, your ability to be decisive, unpredictable, and able to communicate your values and boundaries without being a dick about it. When a man is able to hold his frame from this place, there's the secret catalyst that changes everything: 1. Respect! Once she respects you, desire is assured. That desire creates the sexual polarity you both crave. When this happens you are "The Bad Boy" with heart in her eyes. You can be a good man until you are blue in the face, but you'll lose the essence of the man you are in the process. Being a good man with an edge, well that's the fuel for attraction. That's the essence of a Remarkable Man! You've got this! Be Remarkable! Coach Dwayne What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.

Brother, if you have not hit the open road in some time, I highly recommend it. Whether you are the driver or riding shotgun, it really doesn't matter. Just pick a destination and go!! I'll be honest, it has been awhile for me. But I decided to make the trip from Vancouver to Calgary with my Dad for the weekend. It's my Mom's 90th Birthday Sunday so it's kinda a big deal. My Dad no longer can do airports and lineups, so the road was the only other option. The truth is, being behind the wheel is my happy place. I use to do this trip in one shot, doing the route as quickly and efficiently as I could. Minimal breaks and pit stops. Every semi truck, UHaul or RV I could pass was a point and another win! So taking long breaks meant those slow vehicles would eventually pass me and I'd lose ground. Today, I still like to be ahead of the masses, but the highway has improved dramatically that passing is now so much easier, and travelling with my Dad extended the trip to two days. So I'm actually enjoying the ride so much more. The journey I am referring to is truly uniquely a Western Canadian one with our vast distances and single lane highways that make road trips so rewarding. However, where ever you find yourself, I'm sure you have the equivalent in your part of the world. Whether you are in a relationship or not, either make it a couples thing or a bro thing, even rent a car if you don't own one. But have a conversation and say, "You know what, It's been awhile since I've been on a road trip...Let's drive to ????? Next weekend. Make it happen. It's good for the soul! Coach Dwayne PS The Short Video is us driving through the Canadian Rockies.

Do you feel you are stuck in a never-ending loop of scarcity and bad luck? Do you have a rinse and repeat story with your relationships? Perhaps you have a story that it has to be a boom and bust cycle. I feel you Brother! I know that feeling all too well. However, there's a way to break the cycle. It's called the Mirror Principle. The first step is you have to realize you are in the "effect" stage. You believe you are a victim of circumstances based on your history and your current 3D reality reflects this. Then the reflection reflects more of this reality. That's not a nock against you and your ability to live your life. It has just been your habitual way of experiencing life. The second step is to see that you are the creator of the image. It's YOU that is creating the reflection in the mirror! This was my biggest mind F*@k and that I had to take full responsible for the reality I was creating. The meant no blame, no victim speak, and no accepting that this is just the way it is. No, I am the Main Character in this movie I call my life! And damn it! I am also the Director and Producer too! So, I am creating an Oscar winning blockbuster and so done with my involvement in a day time drama. This is the root of the Remarkable Life and the Remarkable Man brand and the man I have to be. Envision your version of the Remarkable Man you know you want to be. Now BE him first in the mirror and see and FEEL him as well. Breathe him in deeply. He's the one that is going to take you to main character level fast if you let him. Would love to hear your thoughts on your journey to go beyond your limited self! You've got this! Be Remarkable! Coach Dwayne

As some of you know I am doing The 75 HARD Challenge. I am currently on day 12. However, yesterday I had a major breakthrough. My previous PR for running the stairs was 20 sets. These are stairs deep in the woods that take you from the forest floor trail in the ravine up to the high level trail. The 20 sets are the equivalent of running about 68 floors. I had a story that my knee was going to be my excuse for not being able to match even my previous 20. But something happened as I pushed through. I realized my knee was not the issue that I thought it would be, and my conditioning had me feeling strong and capable. My previous record of 20 sets came up quite quickly. So the next step was to keep going. I knew I could crush 25 Sets about 78 floors, but as I got to the 25th set, my mind immediately went to...You guessed it! "Dwayne, you know...you could make it to 30 sets." Hearing myself say this was the part that got me because that would mean 100 floors! I have done stairs before but I have never done 100 floors in my life! I'm just 2 weeks away from my 61st birthday and I feel more alive and capable than at any other time in my life...other than the 2 other times I did the 75HARD Challenge. Soon I found myself at the top of the stairs with 30 sets done at the 100 floor target hit!! I share this because I am most likely not going to push beyond this because it takes about an hour and the days are getting shorter. It took me 11 days to build up to it. I thought 10 was impressive...until it wasn't. I then hit 15 and was so impressed. As I was with hitting 20 sets. Each time it felt a crazy level of fortitude. However, after hitting the next milestone, the previous benchmark seemed so easy. The mind will quit long before the body. There are so many levels you are capable of, yet we often allow the bigness of the goal to overwhelm us to the point we don't take action or push beyond our preconceived limitations. Life is indeed a mental mastery game. It's going to always ask you if you are ready to play...and go to the next level.