7/3 48 hour fast from 10pm June 30 through 10pm July 2. 7/1 Day one of fast Steps 12.3K Calories 0 Carbs 0 protein 0 Read 14 pages of Do Hard Things 7/2 Day two of fast. Fate ended at 10 pm. Steps 11.7K Cal 500 carbs 26 protein 47g Read 12 pages This is the first time I’ve counted macros. I’m interested in what I learn about myself during the month. Fasting during the heat was hard. I added more salt to my water then I’ve ever done during any fast. I noticed how often I would want to go buy a coffee. Giving up coffee has its challenges because I enjoy the flavor. I did drink some black and green tea. Reading was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I never liked reading because I was slow at it and my mind would wander. I listened to a lot of audiobooks while I drive. Now I want to go back through the books I’ve listened to and read them. I’ve learned from my book to listen to your body and toughness is not measured in how push yourself.

Fast 48 hrs- June 30 @9pm- July 2 @ 10pm Wednesday : 21k steps; 0 cals 0 Protien 0 Carbs; 10 pages read; 2.5 min cold shower Thursday: 13,100 steps; 14 pages read; 772 cal- 153 g carbs 19g fat 11g protein; 2 min/3min plunges What did I learn about myself this week: I eat (graze) way more than I thought. The amount of times I opened my pantry or fridge on autopilot was astounding. I should probably add at least 500 calories everyday to what I thought I was eating. I also learned there is a dark place inside of me that I am terrified of reaching. I don’t know if it is fear of success or fear that I will realize my limitations and be fully seen for who I am and where I am. Again, this is around my BJJ practice. I really feel like if I can overcome giving up on myself mid fight, it will unlock a lot of hidden potential that I have. My biggest struggle: The cold plunge on Thursday. Was very surprised and disappointed in myself how I responded to the initial dip. It triggered that same fear that I get when rolling and I get in a bad position. I wanted to quit on myself because I couldn’t control my breathing and amygdala went crazy on me. I used to walk into a cryotherapy tank that was -138 degrees for 5 minutes and thought it would be similar- NOPE! I think this is going to be a key to me unlocking that part of my brain that wants to quit, it will also help me learn how to control my breathing when I get in a panicked state. What was the easiest: Steps and reading. I normally hit 10k+ steps without trying on any given day. Thursday on the last day of the fast, I struggled to move. I am upset about those numbers for Tuesday, but still hit goal. Personally, I am shooting for 20k steps or more each day. I like reading, so this is a nice reminder to do it everyday rather than act like I am treating myself by reading on a weekend or early morning. What I learned from my book (Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents): I have always struggled with this and am now understanding why. This line hit me right hard and hurt in a way: “People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they much play a role that always puts the other person first.” I assume no one actually likes me, I am either “just a number to make things cheaper for everyone else”. “They don’t want me, they just want me to bring weed.” “ You were the last person they called to invite because they were probably afraid you would find out everyone else was invited.” Essentially, I have a fear that people are only acting like they like me to get something; they don't actually like Mike.

First off, I thought we were doing this at the end of the day, so Friday would be included; but I guess this makes more sense. Wednesday and Thursday (and so far today), zero calories! I am on the 64th hour of a 72 hour fast. I walked just over 10,000 steps on Wednesday and 11,000 steps on Thursday… cold shower on Wednesday, and cold plunge on Thursday. One strike against me for adding Crystal Lite to my water on Wednesday. Read two chapters of my book, or 41 pages… I can’t stop till I reach the end of a chapter. Hunger pains are playing a number on me right now, and on Wednesday evening, a little bit of hanger kicked in, and I probably would have killed for a snicker bar! (But hey, I’m not that kind of guy). Biggest disappointment for me was the cold plunge… I got three minutes, which was great, but I still haven’t been able to dunk my entire head under… I’ve got this irrational fear of the water freezing above my head after I go under, and not being able to get out, coupled with ANOTHER irrational fear that you guys would hold me under to get rid of me once and for all! Mike’s not the only one who thinks that nobody likes him! 🤣 The first chapter of my book is titled “don’t wait”, and as the title implies, we’re all going to die, nobody knows when, so make the most of the time you’ve got! I took that to also mean to quit putting things off, thus the letter writing I started last weekend, writing thank you notes to everyone who attended my mother’s funeral a couple of years ago… followed by more thank you notes to people who took me out to lunch and dinner after she passed, and ending with the people I stayed with during my cross country tour… including personalized notes and in most cases, photographs in every letter I write. The second chapter is titled “at once here and disappearing”, in other words, nothing is permanent. This chapter gave an absolutely beautiful description of what happens when you die… provided it’s a natural death like my mother had. It literally put into words everything that happened with my mother from the time she fell asleep and never woke up, till three days later when she finally passed. Again, it’s all about making the most of this life we have been given, cuz none of knows how long it’s going to last.

Gentlemen, Our first Thursday evening circle is tomorrow 7-9pm at my place 1302 E St Clair St Please arrive a few minutes early to get settled in. We'll begin with a check in, followed by breathwork and great conversation. Let us know below if you plan to attend!