Today, I attended one of my daughter's school events and her father was there. Even though it's been a few years since our relationship ended, we parallel parent and rarely have direct contact. I've seen him in passing over the years, but we haven't been at the same event together in a long time. As I was getting ready to go, I expected I might feel anxious or emotionally activated. I thought I might spend time thinking about what to say, how it would feel, or whether old emotions would resurface. But none of that happened. I simply showed up, enjoyed watching my daughter, and stayed present in the moment. For me, that felt significant. There was a time when being in the same space would have brought up a lot emotionally. Today, it didn't. A few years ago, I don't think I would have believed I'd feel this neutral. Healing can be difficult to measure because it often happens so gradually. Sometimes we don't realize how much we've grown until we're in a situation that once would have completely activated us, and we notice that it doesn't anymore. Today was one of those moments for me. What's a moment you've had recently that made you realize you're further along in your healing than you thought? 🌿💛

This final assignment was difficult. I even skipped a day to contemplate. This is what I’ve learned: 3 Different Things I survived: 1. The fear of expressing to my husband that I no longer wanted to be married and was choosing “myself”. 2. Circular arguments - that used to exhaust and confuse me until I learned what they were. 3. Sharing with my 4 Adult daughters that I decided to separate from my (2nd) husband. 3 Decisions I’ve Made that Worked Out 1. Choosing myself. I am slowly discovering what “Crystal” wants and needs. I do NOT focus on my age or time spent in this marriage. *(62/ 22 yrs). My time began after I made my decision. My life is on reset, by the Grace of God✨and that keeps me from feeling shame and regret. God✨promised me four score and ten (80yrs)….so I am now prayerfully resetting my next 20yrs.!!! That’s that. I said what I said !☺️ 2..Sharing my decision with my daughters. They expressed how happy they were that I was finally choosing myself and told me I do not have to go through this alone. We have had some vulnerable conversations. I realized they are no longer my little girls. They are grown women with thoughts and perspectives of their own. Several have gone to therapy d/t stress of my divorce with their father and have come to understand a lot. I don’t share everything but I share what I am comfortable sharing. It feels good 3.Completing this 5 Day exercise in 6 days. And finally - 3 Qualities I Appreciate About Myself 1. I am resilient. 2. I have kept my faith in God✨despite my roller-coaster 🎢 ride of emotions. 3. I day dream about what my life will be like when I am finally on my OWN. In my home with just me and my dog. Thank you Kassandra this has been very therapeutic for me.

If you are curious about no contact and what that means for you, that is what this video is about 🙂 -https://youtu.be/QtyJ1-9k7Qc

Today I spent the day with my youngest daughter. We had pizza, hoagies, chips and ice cream. We went grocery shopping and watched tv together. I’m staying over and am happy to spend time with her. My husband called while I was with my daughter- and the small I boundary I set was to NOT answer. He knew where I was and there was no reason to call me. He does it all the time. Reaching out to “touch” me and interrupting my time without him. How I felt about my boundary- I felt good that I didn’t answer the phone. I also felt annoyed that he called in the first place. I didn’t let the phone call ruin my time with my daughter and I didn’t let myself be upset for longer than 15 mins. I take good care of him in spite of our current situation and my desire to be separated. I’ve earned my ” uninterrupted” time with my daughter.

When I came home from work this morning I played multiple games of Vita Mahjong. I didn’t set my timer to limit my playing time. After playing several games and climbing the leader board- I went to sleep with my dog laying at my feet. I felt safe. I’m at work now preparing to read Day 3.