Is the condition of my marriage one that if my children had the same condition in their marriage, would I feel proud of them? Is my marriage (since its defining what marriage is for my children) the definition God wants my children to have of what marriage is? Does my marriage look like God’s definition of marriage? Do I know God’s definition? If any one of these has a hint of a “no” in their answer, my next questions for myself are also a prayer: Lord, what do I need to change? And what do I need to receive from you to make those changes?

Will our children be our sacrifice to arguments and conflict? If we tended and lived in the holiness we’ve been freely given, we’d be so sensitive to the needs of each other and eager to fulfill the other’s needs, even at the cost of our own. The flawless union between a believing husband and wife in this world echoes loudly the unbreakable union of Christ and His bride in the Kingdom. Lord, let our unions here on earth correspond to your union with the Church. Let us not sacrifice our children to anything we consider as worthy of a battle. Let us not sacrifice our children for selfishness.

Instead of saying “I’m stressed”, say “my body is preparing me to rise from this challenge”. This reframes stress into energy, turning cortisol into courage. Instead of saying “I have to do this”, say “I get to do this”. This shifts the brain from pressure to gratitude, increasing motivation. Instead of saying “I’ll try”, say “I commit”. Try signals doubt, commit programs the subconscious for a follow through. Instead of saying “I’m bad at this”, say “I’m still learning this”. Your brain loves growth, and this rewires failure into progress. Instead of saying “I don’t have time”, say “it’s not my priority”. This exposes what you truly value. Instead of saying “that’s just who I am”, say “that’s who I’ve been and who I was, not who I must stay”. Sense of self is flexible, and this creates mental freedom to continue agreeing with who God says you actually are. Instead of saying “this always happens to me”, say “what can I learn from it this time?” This stops victimhood and activates problem solving mode. Instead of saying “I don’t know”, say “I don’t know yet”. Yet brings in a growth mindset, empowering the brain to search for answers. Instead of saying “I’m nervous”, say “the Holy Spirit in me is excited”. The brain cannot tell the difference, you decide the framing. Instead of saying “it’s impossible”, say “it hasn’t been done by me yet”. This opens possibility and dissolves mental barriers. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “how can I do this?” Asking questions activates problem solving circuits. Instead of saying “I failed”, say “I’ve discovered one way it doesn’t work”. This resets failure into data. Instead of saying “I’m stuck”, say “I’m pausing to reset”. This turns paralysis into preparation, reducing anxiety. Instead of saying “they’re lucky”, say “they created opportunities”. This shifts envy into responsibility and empowerment. Instead of saying “I wish”, say “I will”. Wish signals helplessness, will directs action. Instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed”, say “I’m prioritizing”.

What would you say is your current predominant emotion within your family?

Our children are shaped more by our emotional landscape than by our words.