@Karin Schoeman 🤣

Diligent and trustworthy.

Friday: The honest No “No. I love you, but I cannot abandon myself to make you happy.”

Thursday: Where you learned it I've learned something closer to: “My usefulness makes me safe and valuable.” And that explains why being needed can feel so powerful. Because if someone needs me, there is no question about whether I belong. But there's a painful catch: People can need me without truly seeing me. And I've been telling this, in different ways, that this is exactly where I've hurt. I wanted to be seen as Chesca, not as Ouma. I wanted my voice to count. I wanted to be heard rather than simply relied upon. I wanted love without disappearing inside everybody else's needs. And I think this is the new question I've learning: “Who am I when I am not proving my worth by what I do for everyone?” I already gave that part of the answer during my Pattern Interrupt: “Nothing — just doing what I do — just being me — no pretend, just the gentle, caring me reaching out.” That's huge. Because the woman I am becoming doesn't have to stop being loving. She simply stops making usefulness the price of belonging. 🌹 I don't have to earn my place anymore. I get to take my place.🌹

Wednesday: What being needed pays you “Who am I if nobody needs me?” Because then I have to choose myself. And choosing myself brings uncertainty. If I say no, someone might be disappointed. If I stop carrying something, it might fall apart. If I put my business first, someone else's need might have to wait. If I become successful, I become more visible. And if I become visible, I can be judged. when I am needed, my value feels obvious. When I am simply me, there's no task proving my value. If I stop being the one who carries everyone, who will carry me? That question is painful because I learned to be the carrier. But my business requires a different Chesca. Not the one who says: “Tell me what you need and I'll do it.” But the one who says: “This is what I have. This is what I know. This is what I'm building. If it serves you, come with me.” That's not selfish. That's leadership. What if it means I am finally free to be wanted, chosen and valued for who I am, rather than for everything I do for everyone? That is a much more vulnerable place. And perhaps that's exactly why my business feels emotionally bigger than “just building a business.” I am not only learning to sell. I am learning to let myself be visible without first earning my right to be there. “I don't have to be needed to know I matter.” 🌹

Tuesday: What the no would cost I need to start saying no to the version of yourself that believes everything deserves your yes. No to: - Doing things because you feel guilty. - Waiting until everyone is happy with your choice. - Over-explaining yourself when a simple no is enough. - Taking on other people's priorities when you haven't finished your own. - Changing direction every time something doesn't immediately work. - Preparing forever instead of putting your work in front of people. - Believing you need certainty before you act. - Making someone else's disappointment mean you've done something wrong. - Turning your business into another place where you have to prove you're good enough. No to abandoning Chesca to keep the peace. “Saying no doesn't make me a bad girl; it makes room for the woman I'm becoming.” 🌹