I been 3 days sober now since I last took a hit from my nicotine vape, yesterday I couldn't stop crying and today I feel like crying too. I constantly keep thinking about smoking, I constantly keep getting sad about it, feels like a part of me is dying. I don't know if I should give up or keep on going ?, I'm stuck I'm hurt. I did this year's ago but dang it's a lot of work. I been a year and 3 months sober from weed but now I'm trying to quick nicotine forever. Help me please, how can I keep going ? Update 4 days sober, I'm still pushing through still crying. 😅🥺 would still appreciate more advice how did you feel after quitting bad habits ?

I've been a bit quiet here the past two weeks as I was hosting two amazing guests for an ayahuasca retreat. Every retreat is different as we are unique beings that are navigating our own inner and outer struggles. What is the same is the love that ayahuasca has for all those who answer her call. Ayahuasca is a conscious spirit healer/doctor, as are all plants. How we approach and build relationships with these spirits is key. Everything is relationship built on reciprocity. It takes focus and attention and above all receptivity. With ayahuasca we call it a dieta, where we essential "diet" the medicine. We can do this with any plant spirit. Rosemary is a beautiful, heart-opening spirit and an "easy" one to get to know. It takes some effort on our part as it is non-psychedelic and as a result we must "strive" a bit more to get to know her. If you would like to learn how to connect with Rosemary or any other plant, follow the protocols below. - Select your date for the dieta - Eat a plant based diet for 3 days prior - The night before your selected date make your rosemary tea by taking a 4 large sprigs and steeping it in 500ml hot water similar to tea. Steep for 30 minutes and remove the sprigs. Your tea will be ready in the morning - You will fast the entire day of the dieta, drinking only the rosemary tea and a small amount of water during the day - First thing in the morning, take a shower prior to drinking your tea. - Then you can light a candle or several in your space. - Have 250ml of your tea in a cup, sit quietly and hold your tea at your heart center - Connect to the tea and rosemary. Your intention for the day is to connect and get to know rosemary. - You may speak any other intentions into your cup of tea. - State the following aloud, "I give thanks to rosemary and this sacred plant medicine; I invite and welcome you into my being to teach and guide me in subtle and profound ways. I give thanks to Pachamama/Mother Earth for this sacred medicine." - You may now drink your first cup of tea. - When finished, sit quietly for as long as you are able while maintaining your intention and meditate on rosemary. Open to receive rosemary. Try to remain in stillnness, silence and meditation as much as possible throughout the day. - You may have water two hours after ingesting your first cup and small amounts throughout the day. - Drink your second cup of tea around 6pm and again follow the meditation process. - It is best to have cell phones turned off, no social media or interaction with others for the entire day. - Have a journal handy to write as little or as much as you like. - You can sing to rosemary during the day if you feel called. - Place a sprig of rosemary under your pillow when you go to sleep that night. - The following morning take a few minutes to sit quietly and thank rosemary. - You are now finished your dieta. - You can also do this again at any time to deepen your relationship with rosemary or you can extend the dieta from one day to as many as you can do while fasting. I recommend no more than 3 days.

This year I keep getting reminders as my adventures continue that this is not a year to say no to new experiences. In the past I often said no to many things due to fear and lack of faith in myself. Now not all experiences will end up great or even the ones I want but the more i experience the more I will begin to understand the kind of life I truly want to live. And all experiences offer us opportunities of self discovery and awareness. I know I want my life to be filled with travelling, meeting new people, seeing new things and experiences that are out of my normal. So obviously this is going to take me making a conscious decision to continually ignore the awkward moments or insecurity that may pop up when new things or people come in to my life. But as long as my intuition isn’t guiding me to say no or walk away I plan on experiencing as much as I can of life this year. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have time for a break here or there 😂 I have been catching up on sleep since I finally made it to my mothers. Honestly a little lost as to what to do next right now so I am going to just take it one day at a time and see what happens. 🤷🏻‍♀️💯❤️‍🔥 I have t even felt inspired to make any videos or anything. Kid you not I just feel lost in my head and in need of sleep. Maybe I am just recovering from a level up. Also here is a weird thing. Oddly I had two marks on my left arm that looked a lot like needle marks - like someone took blood from me, right in the crook of my elbow. But I have not been to a medical centre in months. Anyway ever have this? Where it looks like someone gave you a needle or something after waking up? I even felt it being itchy under my sleeve which is what made me look in the first glance. Kinda confused now. Again I have not been to a medical centre in months so no idea what is up there 🤷🏻‍♀️🤔🤨

Whether the heart of your business, the very heart of the love for yourself or whatever it is that you love or love to do. Do it fully and know that your Heart Matters. Never forget the heart and core of your beautiful being and what your passion and genius contributes to this wonderful world and this thing we call life. From my heart to yours. May the New Year be all that you Love and that which brings you immense Joy. Happy New Year 🎉🎉🎉

Idk anyone else?