Wassup, my name is Alex and I’m a filthy lil mudblood from Canada/Korea. Been blessed to grow up allover the world: Japan, China, Indonesia, etc. (yes thou does speaketh these tongues but my Jap is very chopped) The social skill I want to improve is small talk, I genuinely find it so awkward. I like to play any and all sports, and I love music and cooking. Hyped to get to know y’all 🤙🏼

In any conversation there are subtle moments where the person you are talking to decides if to listen to you or not. They subconsciously look at how confident you are: your body language, tone of voice, eye contact (among many other things) and they decide: "this is someone worth listening to". That appearance of confidence can make or break a social interaction: whether that person you just met wants to be your friend, or if the girl says yes to going on a date with you. But if you focus on all these thousands of microexpressions that you making in every conversation, you'll probably go crazy. In my social journey, I've found a better way and its to focus internally. Our minds send signals to our body that echo what we truly believe. If you believe that your not worth listening to, your body will naturally mirror this (in your expressions, body language etc) and the person you're talking to will pick up on these and they will likely agree. But the flip side is also true! If you think you're a catch, you'll appear more like a catch and the person is more likely to thing so, if you think you're funny, they're more likely to laugh. If you truly think what you have something good to offer and interesting to say , it's going to trickle down into how confident you appear and people will believe you. But how do you develop this internal confidence? It starts with self-beliefs and these are 3 that have helped me to be myself, to do bold things in life, and seem confident while doing it. 1. "I will always be okay" - This helps me to take social risks because it lets me put aside the catastrophizing and "what-ifs" about social situations. It reminds me that even if people judge me or I say a joke and no one laughs or I bomb on stage that I will still be breathing and living and have people that love me - this has given me the freedom to live life more fully, to go up and talk to people, do public speaking, or ask out the girl. 2. "What I have to say is worth sharing, simply because I think it is" - Ever thought of a funny joke or something you wanted to say in conversation but talked yourself down? That's exactly what this mindset helps combat.

In this case that someone is me.

I’m wondering if you guys have any celebrities that come to your mind when you think of a charismatic person. Mine is pretty random but I recently heard this one guy called Cliff Weitzman on this podcast (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yfALZJcurZw) and found him pretty unbelievable. Others that I think of are Benjamin Franklin, at least from what I’ve read of him, and Will Smith.

How do you choose whether or not to give a new dish a shot? 1. How it looks. 2. How it smells. If the chef run up to you and started attacking you for not picking up his best dish at a buffet, and it looked like goop, you would be confused why he thought you would ever pick it. “Cause it’s delicious!” “How am I supposed to know that?!?” Now ask yourself, how is anyone supposed to know about you? Your personality that slowly unfolds over experiences and many interactions are you at a deeper level, sure. But who has the time to do that with everyone? If you’re goal is to be more out there, or be treated a certain way, look and smell the part. We instinctively interpret actions and behaviors in the context of appearance anyway. Example: One time someone built like a Greek god approached me to kindly adjust my form while squatting to avoid injury, did he have to explain to me how he knows what he’s talking about? No. His proof was written on his chiseled pecs. So I quickly adjusted and did what he told me. A good scent can also help you be perceived better, I personally experienced this in many situations where others or myself wore something and the interactions were noticeably different from guys and girls.