I was thinking about what the signs look like for someone who is truly happy. I thought for years I could reach it by making changes to my life. The truth was I had it the whole time, it just showed more clearly as I've aged. https://borumj.wordpress.com/2026/06/11/looking-for-happy/

Today's Fireside topic was: Observe, Don't Absorb. As we talked about what that means in real life, one of us described it simply as "staying in my lane." Sometimes the challenge isn't knowing where the boundary is, it's having the courage to honor it. When we remind ourselves to stay in our lane, we're less likely to take responsibility for things that were never ours to carry, and more able to step back and simply observe what is happening around us. Several of us acknowledged that observing without absorbing is easier said than done. We care deeply about people. We see their struggles, their mistakes, their self-sabotage, and naturally want to help. But often, that desire to help pulls us right back into patterns of overextending ourselves, trying to fix problems that aren't ours to solve. One member shared that she'd love to hear from people who seem naturally gifted at not absorbing the emotions and choices of others. What wisdom do they have? How do they remain compassionate without becoming responsible? We also discussed the reality that when we begin setting healthier boundaries, the people around us may not immediately celebrate the change. In fact, they may push back. When others are accustomed to our rescuing, fixing, or carrying, stepping out of that role can feel uncomfortable for everyone involved. That's why holding boundaries isn't about controlling others but more it's about protecting our own well-being. The biggest takeaway from the conversation is that observing doesn't mean we stop caring. It means we trust others enough to let them walk their own path, make their own choices, and learn their own lessons. We can offer support without carrying the weight. We can care without absorbing. As one of us put it, "Who knew that protecting your peace would not be peaceful." Sometimes the most loving thing we can do both for ourselves and for others, it just to "stay in our lane." Great conversation everyone, thanks to all that joined! If YOU are interested in coming to the Fireside chat, we have them at 8am PST on Tuesdays. The topics are in the calendar. Hope to see everyone there!

Thanks to all who came to hang out for the Fireside chat! Our discussion Tuesday was about different seasons of life, and what season are we currently in. Building, Resting, Changing, or some other season? Building - Effort and Momentum Resting - Restoration Changing - Transition and Adjustment Building energy being directed outward toward "new." New skill, starting something, achieving goals, investing time and effort into the future. Resting energy is life inviting you to slow down. Needing quiet and recovery. Less productivity and more reflection. Focusing on health, family, and peace. Changing energy is the in between space. Something ends, evolves, a new thing that isn't fully formed yet. This can feel uncertain or uncomfortable. It can be questioning your direction, transitioning at work, in a relationship, or with your identity. It is letting go of things that once fit but don't any longer. @Connie Riet @Kim Harrison both mentioned that you can do all of these in a 24 hour period, and I hadn't considered that! I was focused on trying to define one that fit me - when indeed, all 3 of these were present on the daily. The overarching wisdom from the group was to find "bucket filling" things to achieve, to stay sane and guard your well being. Take advantage of all the seasons, and focus on small projects that you CAN accomplish. End the day with 3 things that went well for this present day. This positivity stronghold will set in motion the atmosphere of the next day. Lastly, there is Harvest. Harvest is the season of reaping and appreciating. Seeing the results of things you planted earlier. Signs of this season are: Enjoying the results of past effort, stability and gratitude, sharing what you've learned, and mentoring/giving back. Some of us had glimmers of this season but no one claimed it as theirs. Lovely conversation everyone. Thank you for taking the time to join me. See you next week!

What is something simple that made you smile this week? Sometimes the small moments are the ones that stay, heal, nurture, and ground us.

Tonight’s Campfire Question ☕🔥 What is something you’ve learned in life that you wish you had understood sooner? Sometimes those lessons arrive quietly… and only make sense years later. I’d love to hear yours.