I recently went to a professional development seminar where a very good friend was speaking and it was really nice to see her and other colleagues. I had a lot of spoons that day! I haven’t been to anything like this in three years, I’m retired so I really don’t need to attend these things anymore. I ran into some friends who I haven’t seen in years and we did the usual catching up stuff. When they asked me “how have you been?” I told them about my cancer diagnosis, its progression and what treatment has been like and they were dumbfounded. These are all medical professionals mind you and they all said in one way or another, “but you don’t look sick”. I had a flashback to an essay by Christine Miserandino from 2003, “The Spoon Theory” in which she rights about a time she told a close friend about her experience living with lupus. I told my friends that some days I’ve got a lot of spoons and some days I don’t have many. They looked at me like I had lost my mind. I referred them to the essay. I’m not at all ashamed to take great ideas for other people and apply them in my life, but I always make sure to give credit where credit is due. If you haven’t heard of the spoon theory, I highly recommend that you research it. I think it’s a great way to help people understand what it’s like when someone is dealing with any type of chronic debilitating or life limiting illness and how they have to plan for the most effective use of their precious energy.

Sometimes we need a reminder of how precious life is and what it means to live a life. I had a restless night and got up early. Sat in front of the tv and watched the movie, Spoiler Alert. It brought back memories of working on Water St in the 80’s and watched as so many friends died of AIDS and the feeling of sadness, grief, loneliness and fear took hold. My friends span many different walks of life. It’s wonderful but it leaves you open to all sorts of things you never expected. Some good, some not so good. But life, well, it is interesting. Remember when you’re helping someone navigate decisions for their life and after, it is difficult to think beyond where we are. Give them grace and definitely dignity as you assist them and their loved ones. I love my Sunday morning musings. Grace & Dignity End of Life Services

Life, the universe, the Divine, God has a unique way of reminding us that we’re not alone on our journey and sometimes no matter how bad we think our lives are there are people out there they’re going through similar or worse situations. This morning I ran into a friend of mine that I worked with a VA who retired a few years ago just like I did. He had his own battle with cancer and is now a cancer survivor. I would see him walking the neighborhood with his wife on a fairly regular basis over the last couple years. I saw him this morning and stopped just to say hi and catch up with him and he told me that his wife died in January from pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed in mid 2025 and five months later she died. She had been to three different doctors who missed the diagnosis. Finally, she went to a cardiologist who did some more extensive testing and made the diagnosis. I expressed my deepest condolences and sympathies for his loss. He said that he has been in grief counseling since she died. I told him that I thought that was a very good thing. I told him that people can be very sympathetic, but unless they’ve gone through the loss of a close love one they truly don’t understand what a person is going through. My thoughts and prayers are with him and his family. I know that God is great and will watch over them and guide them through this journey of grief and rebuilding their lives without their loved one. This is a reminder for us all to cherish every moment, especially the ones we have with our friends and loved ones. After I drove away I found a place to park and I had a good cry