Last summer I started being kind to all the flies getting into my place and trying to get in, and they started swarming my balcony. Nearly a year later, they're swarming again. Do they actually remember acts of kindness or are drawn to something?

My name is Nurhidayati, but you can call me Nur. I’m originally from Indonesia, and I work as a spa therapist. I enjoy listening to music and connecting with many different people. I have a deep passion for learning new things, especially anything that helps me grow and become a better version of myself. Life has tested my patience in ways I never imagined. I’ve been through many challenges that shaped who I am today. Even when I feel I have done my best to be kind and good, there are still people who choose to misunderstand or dislike me. At this moment, I am also going through a difficult phase in my marriage. But now, I am choosing a new path. I want to change—not for others, but for myself. I want to learn how to truly love myself, to protect my peace, and to honor my own worth. I am learning that my value does not depend on how others treat me, but on how I treat myself. This is my journey of healing, growth, and self-love.

Zach recommended this book to me and I love it. Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda. Here are my reflections on spirituality, somatic practice & the modern world. Most people are searching for peace in the external world… Better relationships More money More external validation Being chosen Being loved, being popular. Going viral even But what if the real work and the real results come from within? What if our internal world reflects our outer world. After reading Autobiography of a Yogi, my experience of somatic practice & spiritual practice marries beautifully. Because your nervous system is the gateway to your spiritual experience. You can’t access deep clarity, intuition, or connection when your body is in survival mode. This is why so many people struggle with: – Overthinking – Emotional triggers – Feeling disconnected in relationships It’s not a mindset problem. Its a safety problem. When your body feels safe: ✨ Your mind quiets ✨ Your heart opens ✨ Your energy flows And from that place… everything changes. This is where true alignment lives. Not in forcing, chasing, or controlling life —But in regulating your system so you can actually RECEIVE it. Daily practices like meditation, breathwork, and stillness aren’t just “spiritual tools”… They are how you come back home to yourself. And from there, life starts meeting you differently. Curious to know what helps YOU feel safe in your body right now? Tx

From my work over the last decade I have found that many people struggle to be caring, kind, and attentive to themselves. Generally we struggle with self love because we felt unlovable or not good enough in our childhood. A HUGE part of the journey is to learn how to love yourself by remembering and honoring the true value of your Being. We can only love others to the degree that we love ourselves. So start with you!! Do you struggle with self love? What ways can you show love, care, kindness, and attention to yourself today?

The coming month will be very interesting/telling at work. I'm at a healthcare campus that's *supposed* to strictly house total care residents but is taking on more & more behaviorals and the most famous past behavioral resident is returning for 30 days. I have immense compassion for all the staff who will have to be directly involved.