When was the last time you prayed and actually meant every word? Not the prayer that sounded right. Not the one that had the right cadence and the right scriptures woven in. Not the one that would have impressed whoever was listening. The real one. The one that started with God I do not even know what to say right now. The one that was just tears with no words attached. The one where you were honest about being angry, confused, exhausted, and close to giving up. When was the last time THAT prayer left your mouth? Because I think for a lot of us it has been a while. And I think the reason is because somewhere along the way we learned that THAT version of us was not welcome in the presence of God. So we put on the mask. And we got so good at wearing it that sometimes we forget it is even there. Let me describe the mask for you. The mask is "I am blessed and highly favored" when you are barely holding on. The mask is the praise hands on Sunday when you spent Saturday night crying and questioning everything. The mask is the prayer request that sounds spiritual "please pray for my peace" when what you actually want to say is I am furious and I do not understand what God is doing and I am scared He has forgotten me. The mask is the "God is good" response when someone asks how you are doing because you have learned that the real answer makes people uncomfortable. The mask is perfect church attendance while your faith is quietly unraveling on the inside. The mask is serving in ministry while running on completely empty and telling nobody. We wear it so well. We have worn it for so long. And it is exhausting. It costs us real encounter with God. Because you cannot be truly met by God in a place you are pretending to be. He meets you where you actually ARE. Not where you are performing. Not where you are presenting your best spiritual self. Not where you have it together enough to come before Him. WHERE. YOU. ACTUALLY. ARE. And if you are always performing even in prayer God is always meeting the performance.

Monday I asked you to name the anger. And you did. Some of you dropped things in the comments that you have never said out loud to anyone. And I want you to know I read every single one. And I sat with every single one. And none of it surprised God. Today we go one layer deeper. Because anger is never the root. Anger is what grows on top of the root. And the root is always the hurt. Think about it this way. When a child throws a tantrum it is almost never actually about the toy that got taken or the snack they did not get. It is about something that happened before that moment. Something that made them feel unsafe or unseen or out of control. The toy was just the thing that cracked it open. We are the same way as adults. The anger you feel toward God is almost never really about the thing on the surface. It is about something that happened that made you feel like He was not there. That He did not care. That He saw what was happening and did not move. That you did everything right and it still went wrong anyway. That you trusted Him and it still fell apart. That is the hurt underneath the anger. And until we name THAT the real thing, the specific thing we will keep carrying it without ever actually healing from it. So today I want to go somewhere most people never go in their prayer life. Not the general. The specific. Not "God I have been hurt." But God. Here is the exact moment. Here is the exact thing. Here is what happened and here is what I needed from You that I did not feel like I received. That level of honesty is terrifying for most believers. Because we have been taught that naming our pain specifically is the same as accusing God. But it is not. It is the same thing the disciples did when they woke Jesus up in the middle of the storm and said do you not care that we are drowning? They named the specific fear. The specific moment. The specific feeling that God had checked out on them. And Jesus did not rebuke them for being honest. He calmed the storm. And then He asked them why they were afraid.

I need to start this series with something that might make you uncomfortable. You are allowed to be angry at God. I know that felt wrong to read. Because we were taught that anger toward God is disrespectful. That it is ungrateful. That good Christians do not feel that way. That if you love God you trust God and if you trust God you do not question God and if you do not question God you certainly do not get ANGRY at Him. So we buried it, smiled through it, worshipped through it. We said "God is good all the time" through it. We posted scriptures about trusting His plan while privately we were furious about His timing. And the anger did not go away. It just went underground. And underground anger does not disappear. It just finds other places to come out. It comes out in how you parent. It comes out in how you treat the people closest to you. It comes out in the way you hold God at arm's length even while you are going to church every Sunday. It comes out in the quiet moments when nobody is watching and you realize you have not really talked to God likeeeee really talked to Him in a long time. Because somewhere along the way something happened. And you never said anything about it. Psalm 22:1. David writes -- My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? That is not polished. That is not a man who has it together spiritually. That is a man who is hurting and confused and feeling completely abandoned by the God he has spent his whole life serving. And God did not strike him down for it. He put it in the Bible. He preserved it for thousands of years so that you would read it today and realize if David could say that, I can say what I actually feel too. Psalm 13:1 -- How long Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? Jeremiah 20:7 -- You deceived me Lord and I was deceived. Job 30:20 -- I cry out to you God but you do not answer. These are not the words of faithless people.

Next week we are starting something I have been sitting on for a while. A three week free series right here in the community. And I am warning you now this one is going to go places most people are not willing to go. But I believe this community is ready. Here is what we are doing. WEEK ONE -- GET IT OUT. We are talking about the anger you have toward God that you have never said out loud. The hurt you have been carrying quietly because it did not feel okay to admit it. The prayers that felt like they went nowhere. The season that broke something in you. The moment you smiled in church while something inside you was screaming. We are taking the mask off. Not to be disrespectful to God. But because He already knows. And He would rather have your honest anger than your polished performance. Week one is about getting it out. Acknowledging that it exists. Saying the thing you have been afraid to say. WEEK TWO -- YOU NEVER HAD TO EARN IT. This is the week that is going to undo some of you. Because a lot of us have been living like God's love is conditional. Like if we do enough, pray enough, get it together enough then He will show up for us. But that was never the deal. He did not save you because you were qualified. He did not call you because you had it together. He did not choose you because you could perform. He did it because He loved you. No quid pro quo. No fine print. No "if you do this then I do that." Just love. Before you deserved it. Before you earned it. Before you even wanted it. WEEK THREE -- COME OUT OF AGREEMENT. This is where we do the work. Because once you have gotten honest with God and received His love without conditions you have to break agreement with every pattern, every lie, every cycle that was built on the belief that you were not enough. The way you parent from fear instead of love. The way you shrink when God is calling you to step up. The way you keep repeating what you swore you would never repeat. Week three is about coming out of agreement with all of it.

Hey Kingdom Family! 👑 I'm not sure if you've been following along with our Bible study, but as we enter into Month 3, I am dropping the link below so your child can start practicing this month's scripture. Psalm 139:13-14 — Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. Click the link, and have your child start with the first video they see which is Psalm 139:13-14 . If you haven't been following along yet now is the perfect time to start. We are currently in Season 1 and will soon be moving into Season 2 very soon. The goal is to take our children from Genesis all the way to Revelation. We won't hit every single story, but the goal is to give our younger generation a wonderful head start in the Word of God. The age range that has been enjoying this series so far is 2 to 14 year olds. If your child is brand new to the Bible, this may still be a great fit come check it out and see. 👇🏽 Click the link to start practicing this month's scripture or click thr second link to start from episode 1 linktr.ee/biblestudyku https://www.youtube.com/c/KashllyKingdomKidz Let's equip our children. 💛 — Ms. Ashley