Bash me, Destroy me, humble me but please give me honest feedback on this cold email that I have sent. Context Business : Corporate coaching / Leadership Coaching Ben Campbell (owner) : Found from an interview that he is into cycling and he regularly goes on rides for new ideas Goal : sending him a loom video where I can pitch 5 email-email sequence welcome mat I tried to stand out and write with research so that this doesnt feel automated and actually feels personal. Had a lot of trouble with connecting the cycling part to pitching my services ( if its a bad idea - what would be the better approach in this context ) Tried as much as I can to use "You", "your business" and tried to communicate whats in it for him rather than my own personal benefit. So here is the email SL : Does cycling really help you come with ideas ? Hey Ben, I read the flying solo interview you did a couple years ago and I was shocked to hear that you can come up with ideas when cycling I can barely focus on breathing during a ride let alone think straight (I am more of a walk person) And I actually came up with an idea for your website Specifically - your Corporate Brochure and Book Reading List could have a welcome email sequence behind them to generate leads and turn them into paying clients As an email copywriter I work with coaches on exactly this, and we can strategically use free resources on your website to acquire new clients I made a short 2 minute video showing the 4 step method that can be used for your business I wanted to ask for permission before sending it to you. Thank You, Anupam

I am trying to find a junior copywriter role in marketing agencies. I am sharing my recent outreach and I would love to get feedback on how I can make it a lot better. I send a cold email to the decision makers of the agency and attach a loom video along side it. here is the email I sent. I tried slightly differentiated emails to see what works and I have sent it to two people in the company I probably sound too robotic, I tried my best not to but I cant help but notice it ( would love to have some feedback on how I can improve this ) Here is the attached loom : https://www.loom.com/share/1cd5dc5642ad4a36bae7371f0f117b8e I havent applied with CV or cover letters - Quite frankly I dont know what to put in them since I just have had 1 client work and testimony and I try to explain as much as I can in the loom itself. Website of the agency : https://rsd.com.au/ Some questions I have : 1. How to build a CV with not a lot of prior work 2. Since I am attaching a loom video, what message should be in the email and in the loom (separately) 3. Is it worth looking at other outreaching methods ? 4. I always get stuck on the subject line, I know the aim of the SL should be to open the email but can I have more tips on how I can stand out - esp when I cannot find personal/relevant things to include 5. Any tips to improve the video audit (Thank you to Nabeel to checking up on me and encouraging to post about this)

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