The way you talk to yourself is so important! I used to talk about myself in a way that I thought I was being a friend to myself or that I was saying what others were thinking. I used to try to beat people to what I felt they were judging me on. I started listening to motivational videos and learned that successful people who vibrate on high-vibrations didn't talk to themselves in ways that limited their abilities, opportunities etc. I stopped saying, "I can't" do stuff unless I physically could not and started saying why I wouldn't do that thing. It helped me start separating the difference between what I wanted to do and was not able to do or stuff that I didn't want to do and was obligating myself etc. I started learning more about myself in changing my narrative. I once had someone tell me that I don't take compliments well, or that the way I receive compliments was annoying. I could feel it. Like my lack of confidence was being shown in my words and body behavior. One time I told a new therapist the things I wanted to improve on and I thought she was going to diagnose me with something serious and she said, "so you want more confidence". I thought she was minimalizing my problems and then I learned years later that there was truth in that. I started changing the way I think and the narrative I tell myself with motivational videos on YouTube. I used to build people up when they spoke down on themselves and I would go to that dark place with them. I knew that it came from a place of being judged or bullied and I understood how that felt, but it would take me a lot of emotional energy to go there and still keep my good mood. Then I had to learn how to express that I didn't like it when my friends talked down on themselves. I didn't like being around people who called me, or themselves, stupid or ridiculous etc. Then I started talking to myself differently and choosing who to be around. People who didn't talk about their who didn't make me feel even worse about myself or who also wanted to hear how I was doing and took me into consideration.