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🕯️ When I wrote in my journal, one desire that stood out is my drive to be capable and responsible. I tend to take on a lot, and I take pride in being competent and reliable. Sometimes I notice that success brings not just satisfaction, but a sense of relief. Relief that I have met the standard, held everything together, or avoided letting anyone down. These are long held patterns that supported survival at one time. They have brought me success and burden. I am reflecting on my sense of control and how I can’t hold the world together, nor is it my responsibility. It’s okay to relax sometimes. This reflection made me think of the poem “Things to Think by Robert Bly, especially the last verse: “Or that it's not necessary to work all the time, or that it's Been decided that if you lie down no one will die.”

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