@Jente Nuitten Tysm, entering the action mode!

@Joey Akhter Thank you!

For the hook, you start with "Did you know..." When the audience is already problem-aware, I don't think starting with "Did you know" is a good choice. I found a comment on the Reddit post of r/corporatelife, and this heading could sound like it's in the customer's own voice: "Office days literally kill my nervous system." HEADING: The Office Days Are Killing Your Nervous System. You mentioned in your copy: "I also have PCOS." I think it's very direct. It positions it as though people who love food struggle with PCOS, and since it's a women-centric problem with women being the primary customers, they won't like being called out. Don't call them out in the copy. Instead, write it in a way that gives them the feeling that it's absolutely not their fault but rather the result of the wrong diet. "People working in the corporate sector eating garbage." Again, don't call them out. Instead, highlight that the office environment and corporate culture are at fault because you need to understand their background. They studied hard to get a corporate job, but they're still not happy. "I can't sleep because I am overstimulated and wired." Again, this is a Reddit comment. Try to embed the voice of the customer in your copy by reading these comments, and don't stop until you can speak in their voice and writing becomes a minute task. Research is 80% of good copy. "You know, with PCOS, even an extra glass of water makes you gain weight." Okay, but I don't think this is scientifically backed. The health and wellness market is based on scientifically backed claims that are presented as a unique mechanism solution because buyers in this market are mostly problem-aware, solution-aware, and even mechanism-aware. "I was so worried, so I discussed my problem with my gynecologist, who happens to be my friend now. (PCOS girlies always become best friends with their gynac.)" Here, there's a lack of research. Just read these comments I got from online forums: «"PCOS is properly managed by an endocrinologist. Gynos typically only understand the fertility aspect. Your doctor is very rude and unethical to assume advocating for yourself and wanting treatment for your discomfort is due to your 'masculine hormones.'"»

You can use this RMBC framework of Stefan George.It's amazing and even helped me to write emails.Start with research , and mention the unique mechanism system behind your lipliner and make that the hero of your email and make sure it'S diffrent from others lipliners helping to position the product as unique. Understand the belief shift of your customer like what they think about the most lipliners available in the market. I went to reddit on found this comment "Lip liners don't do justice for my lips.... So i'hv been using the brown kajal from lakme..and so far I love the results" Use this as your heading "Do justice to your lips" another comment " enhance lips if you don’t do fillers." this can be used as :You Don't Need Fillers and then explain the unique mechanism solution by explaining the complex ingredients in simple terms telling the reader why this eliminates fillers.For this research the ingredients too,it will help you how to warm up the customer because this is mostly a most aware market and a solution aware market.

@Owen M Yup,When I started to read actual direct response copy ,I forgot chasing the formula.Your advise to stop relying on formula is helping me because what i noticed is formulas develop from a certain pattern.These patterns can be changed on basis of the consumer economy and how they perceive content.Somethings are still important like identifying the persona but the story that we describe is of the customers' their mindset,the set up they grew in,the childhood they spent there life experiences in,there current mental, financial situation.Understanding the customer as a family member is one of the most valuable lesson you told.