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6 contributions to Castle Of Stupid Dreams
Have you seen John Craven's bum?
The bare backside of popular 80s children's newsreader John Craven has been spotted in several places in and around the castle. Yesterday at 3.23am, it was briefly seen poking out of the north-south-eastsouth turret window. Yesterday at 2.45pm, the bum manifested inside a resident's washing machine, lunging out when they opened the door. And today at 1.12pm, the cult figure's derriere was seen in a tree in the woods by a dog. If residents have spotted John Craven's bum, please record the sighting below.
Have you seen John Craven's bum?
1 like • May 22
I heard that Craven's rear end has been seen so many times on Bibby-Bobby Street in the south-west quadrant, that the authorities are thinking about renaming it Le Cul-de-Sac de Craven.
🌳 Spotted in the woods
Outside the Castle, in Yaztroopolizerismus Woods, the following phenomena have been spotted: Inexplicable orbs Dancing trousers Elks disguised as ants Trees Please add your own observed phenomena to the list šŸ‘‡
🌳 Spotted in the woods
2 likes • May 18
@Jason Arnopp I must admit that, as I walked by the Garden of St Swithin, I was completely taken in. But at some distance, I heard a voice whispering on the wind. And that voice said, 'Self equals pumpkin!' Needless to say, the game was up. A vital clue was now in play!
2 likes • May 18
@Jason Arnopp It is only now occurring to me that, even though the pumpkin was disguised as Gripper Stebson's typewriter, the pumpkin could well have been Stebson himself! Let me also add that, when walking by the Grove of St Anselm, I encountered a leaf that bore a remarkable resemblance to Mrs McClusky.
šŸ“
Strawberry blancmange for all in the 9th Quadrant this evening. To claim your free blancmange, simply name your favourite imaginary uncle. šŸ‘‡
2 likes • May 11
I have a quasi-uncle, name of Bartholomew the Nebulous. He used to be the treasurer of the Royal Society for the Preservation of Blancmange. Or at least that's how I imagined his role within that prestigious institution.
1 like • May 11
@Jason Arnopp Frais et delicieux!
Lion made of soup holds court
This creature has materialised in the Castle's seventh bedroom. You may ask it one question. šŸ‘‡
Lion made of soup holds court
1 like • May 10
Why did you remove the parsley from the kitchen of Father McGuigan?
Has anyone else's hat behaved this way?
There have been reports of some residents' hats turning into fog. Some accounts suggest felt hats are especially vulnerable. If this has happened to you, please confirm: šŸŽ© Where in the Castle you were at the time šŸŽ© What you were doing šŸŽ© What kind of hat it was Mr Jamjar, the hatsmith, has kindly offered to supply residents with a new hat, free of charge. I'm sure you'll join me in expressing gratitude. Residents requiring replacement hats should bring Mr Jamjar one bottle of fog.
Has anyone else's hat behaved this way?
1 like • May 8
@Jason Arnopp Yes and no. Yes - there was a definite aroma of dandelion and burdock when the transformation took place. No - I was unaware of the aroma both then and now.
1 like • May 8
@Jason Arnopp That's a very good question! I'll put it to myself later, after I've had my skin and pip of apple supper.
1-6 of 6
Andrew Bird
2
1point to level up
@andrew-bird-6503
Metalhead.

Active 18d ago
Joined May 6, 2026