@Jan Bechy My two cents: 1. Flood analogy works, but it drags.The setup takes too long. You don’t need three lines to say “AI content is drowning people.”Hit harder, faster: “AI has flooded the feed. Most are sinking. A few are floating. Which are you?” 2. Proof feels light.“67k followers” is mentioned, but the reader doesn’t feel it.Turn it into authority: “After analyzing 67,000 followers worth of data, I found…” That line alone upgrades credibility. 3. Plus people can’t visualise 67,000. It’s impossible. Maybe switch it to a football stadium or whatever’s familiar to the ICP. 4. CTA could be sharper.“Reply LIFE PRESERVER” is memorable, but you can frame it with urgency:“Reply LIFE PRESERVER before the next wave hits.” Trim the buildup, sharpen the proof, and punch up the CTA If this was useful, drop a 👍 so I know to keep posting more breakdowns like this.

@Thomas Dox My two cents: 1. Headline overload. You’ve got 3 subject line variations but none hit clean.Pick one and sharpen it. For example:“How Dustin Doubled Revenue in 100 Days (Without Working Late)” → curiosity + proof + benefit, all in one. 2. Story drags in the middle.The “flowers on a date” and “Primark coat” lines are funny, but stacked together they feel like detours. Trim to one killer analogy so the story moves faster. 3. Offer proof is solid, but needs punch.“$34,120 in a single week” is gold… so, pull that higher in the email. Don’t bury it after the bullets. Lead with the win, then unpack the process. 4. CTA repetition.“Reply MASTERMIND” shows up twice but without escalation. Strengthen the close with urgency:“Reply MASTERMIND before the next cohort fills. only 3 spots left.” Tighten the subject line, streamline the story, and hammer the $34k proof earlier. that’s how this turns from case study into client magnet. Was this breakdown useful? YES? Give it a 👍 I have sum more notes

@Umar Rasheed My three cents: 1. Lead runs long. The “effort ≠ wealth” point is solid, but it takes too many words to land. Cut the warm-up and get to the gut punch faster. 2. Emotion is underplayed. Right now it’s logic-heavy (effort vs wealth, engines, fuel). What about the shame of showing up exhausted with nothing to show for it? Or the fear of losing another 7 days? That’s where people feel it. 3. No fascinations. The offer’s framed as a free book, but you never tease me with what’s inside. Instead of just “framework,” hit me with bullets like: - The 3 invisible words that make prospects chase you… - Why 90% of hard-working owners accidentally repel money… - The one tweak that can double sales calls without more effort. Tighten the lead, charge the emotion 👍 If this helped, hit like. I’ll share more notes.

@Deon Mahachi My three cents: 1. Headline misses the pain. “Are you looking to pick yourself up” is vague. People in this space feel shame, fear of judgment, or being stuck. A sharper hook: “The Silent Struggle No One Sees (But You Carry Every Day).” 2. Copy talks about therapy, not them. Lines like “seeking help is a sign of weakness” are fine, but where’s their lived reality? Trouble sleeping. Snapping at loved ones. Feeling like they’re “crazy” if they open up. That’s the picture you need to paint. 3. CTA is bland. “Click the link” doesn’t move someone who fears judgment. Try: “Talk to someone who listens — privately, safely, without judgment. Start here.” Hit those three, and it stops reading like generic encouragement and starts cutting straight into the fears + desires of your audience. 👍 If this helped, hit like. I’ll share more notes.

My two cents: 1. Headline’s soft. “Solve forever” is vague. A headline should make me curious and certain: “Why 8 hours of sleep still leaves you exhausted.” 2. CTA feels like homework. “Track on WebMD” won’t move anyone. Try: “Use this one-page log tonight. Tomorrow you’ll know what’s stealing your rest.” That’s the lever. Fixing headlines and CTAs give the biggest bang for your buck. 👍 If this breakdown helped, hit like. I’ll share more teardown notes.

5 an hour is doable, from finding the lead to pressing send (I send spec pieces).