To be honest , the last club of weeks , i've been wrestling from demons and it's been really rough because I realize i'm not the man I wanna beTo be honest, the last couple of weeks I've been wrestling with some demons and it's been really rough because I'm realizing I'm not the man I wanna be, but to be honest, I don't really know how to fix it. Or let me rephrase that I know how to fix it, but I don't know how to start it. Then yesterday I'm at the gym bench pressing.\nAnd I hear those voices in my you're slow, you're not getting enough, the mountain's too high.Your dreams are to expensive. I'm going to stop listening to those voices evening , if those voices , I our meat from police of love.Because a lot of them have been. I know who God wants me to be and I don't know who I wanna be and honestly , I don't think they're too far apart , but I need to stop staring at the ceiling and listening to the voices

When you're about to ask yourself, why does my chest hurt? Then you remember oh yeah you benched 105 today

It's a new week. What's the focus for you? And can we help? For me it's being more focused on what I and taking care of what I need to do to make it happen

Today is my mom’s 53rd birthday… and tomorrow she goes into surgery for breast cancer. And my birthday is Sunday. And honestly? This is a whole fucked up mix of emotions I don’t even know how to process. How am I supposed to celebrate when my mom is sitting here in pain… scared… facing all these what-ifs? How do I smile and act like everything’s okay when it’s not? I’m angry. I’m scared. I’m overwhelmed as hell. I’m scared of losing my mom. I said it. Cancer is a word that hits different when it’s YOUR person. And ever since March, it’s been one emotional storm after another… and today it’s hitting me hard. What hurts even more? I lost time with her before because of family struggles. Time I can never get back. And now that we’re finally finding our way back to each other… it feels like life is trying to rip her away before we even get the chance to fully heal and be close again. That shit hurts. Deep. Yeah, I’m going off grid for a couple days… trying to breathe, trying to reset… but let’s be real—my anxiety is through the roof, my depression is loud, and my heart feels like it’s getting pulled in a million directions. So I’m asking… no pride, no filter— Pray for my mom. Michelle. Pray for her strength. Pray for her peace. Pray for healing. Pray she comes out of this surgery safe and still here with me. Because I’m not ready to lose her. Not now. Not like this. 🖤 Spartan Kai

What's up guys?! Sorry ive been a little MIA the last few days. Ive been dealing with crazy stuff on a lot of different fronts. And it's made me think do I have egg on my face?