The eve of our Spring Equinox ritual at the Body & Soul Sanctuary brought a fresh visitation of rain. I stood at my altar in my office, having cleared it completely for a full reset, lit incense, and cracked the window to hear and smell the wet air. Stepping beyond mere professional space-holding—while doing ritual in private—and into welcoming others into my sacred altar space has not been a small thing. I have often felt like the Easter hare who is still half-bird, laying rainbow eggs while learning to scavenge, lope, and nibble grass on the ground. Integrating the part of me that is fully unfettered with the part that carries the weight of suffering has been a continuous journey. Sometimes it’s hard to know if it has been fruitful. Are the rainbow eggs doing anything other than sitting around, merely decorative? Shedding skins of conditioning, questioning habits, beliefs, and ways of operating, and waking up to the unconscious ways culture promotes mis-truths, has been an uncovering both external and internal—and has heightened my desire to ensure that what I do here has substance, not mere decoration. As I placed items on my altar anew last week, each thing vibrated, each thing lived in my hands. And when I planted each seed from our Village ritual and covered them with flower water, whole portals were activated. I actually believe that. Not just symbolically. I think the reason it’s so hard to believe in magic these days is not because it’s not real, but because so much has become decorative. So much has become about reputation, performance, perception. The false allure covers over the true gold, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. I am feeling grief as I write this. Magic isn’t feeling happy or successful every day. It’s knowing that everything is held in a field of Grace, and that it’s possible to traverse the full spectrum of experience and never be outside of Original Blessing. Once we know that, it’s possible to work with life—not to rescue it or be rescued by it, but to be present with it—while holding the memory of flight.

There is a barren desert hidden in my viscera, where a version of me has been for ages, thirsty, alone, hearing only wind. Even now, though, the thought of wind brightens me, like a long-lost uncle tickling the trees. Visiting the ocean and floating in her warm, gentle arms near the Mexican whale nursery was like wind chimes reaching that place where nothing had touched for eons, was like the face of a friend I thought had died, appearing suddenly, windblown, glowing. And now: I cannot numb anymore this ache of loneliness which has followed me for generations. There is a rumble in my body like tectonic plates, rearranging. This next seed vibrates an underground thunder, hooves of wild horses stampeding through dust toward the smell of water toward the smell of water... Oh, my heart. Oh, my ancestors. Oh, my children. Kiss this seed with me. She is all of our seed. She is the memory of the star that birthed us all. ​ 🦋🦋🦋 How is your personal longing tied to collective liberation? Where does your deepest pain show you the edge of the path your soul is called to walk in this life? My experience is that when we have the courage to step into creatorship with our life and to transform the wounds caused by trauma and conditioning, destiny emerges through the cracks. Right now, we are seeing lots of cracks in the collective structure. Regenerative medicine teaches us to tend the terrain. Cracks expose weakness, but seeing the points where the terrain is weak means we can better determine what's missing, and fill in the gaps with necessary nourishment. Sometimes revelation looks like shock, but the gift in it is clarity. We are not powerless to respond when we respond from the deepest place of our soul. I know this from being physically handicapped and unable to stop the shock that ravaged my health (physically, mentally and emotionally) when the vaccine tore through my terrain like bullets (literally, it felt like that). When I look back on that experience with a mindset of curiosity and opportunity, I feel I've been given a dharmic task to extensively study and map the journey one embarks upon when healing the gap left between body and soul due to injury, trauma, or the harder-to-track, often-nebulous soul loss that quietly lingers in wider culture where generations previously got lost along the way and hadn't finished putting the pieces back together when we were born.

I’m about to step into a new level of expansion post-recovery: traveling internationally by myself for the first time since my illness. This work of embodiment, of integrating soul and body, has been both liberating and humbling. We do not become transcendent and untouchable; our human needs become even more imminent. And our job as a soul is to believe we are worthy to tend to and receive them — not through control or mimicry, but by inhabiting and radiating a profound sense of deservingness from the inside out. This journey is a massive exercise in letting go of control, while fully inhabiting agency. I’ve learned there is a sweet spot: we must take full control of ourselves, our choices, our navigation through life — but, like the serenity prayer says, there is much we cannot control, especially in seasons of planetary chaos like the one we are navigating. The deepest wisdom lies in discerning the difference and in staying present while trusting a higher power. On the other side of this travel will be the second round of Metamorphosis in the Body & Soul Sanctuary. I am eager to see how it unfolds. While I am confident in the quality and depth of the work I am offering, I’ve also been reflecting on the challenge of becoming visible to the women who are truly ready and helping them find their way into this container, women who, like myself, were leaning into places that couldn't fully reflect their radiance and buoy them upward into their own sovereign and natural power. This year, I am calling in women in the midst profound life transitions who are ready to stabilize, embody, and integrate a new level of vitality. They are highly self-aware, committed to growth, and seeking grounded change. Women claiming authentic leadership in their lives. In the full cycle of Metamorphosis we'll practice: - Stabilizing the nervous system - Transmuting and alchemizing long-standing patterns and core wounds - Integrating a more expanded version of self into everyday life (life uplevel) - Building real-world structures to express soul purpose in the world (structuring dharma)