When a confrontation starts, our instinct is to go to the "Facts." "You didn't turn in your homework." "The rule is no phones." "I've been very patient with you." These are all 2% statements. They are useless until the 98% (the emotion) is handled. Question for the group: How do you stop yourself from "defending the rules" when a student is attacking you?

If you've ever had a client spiral out of control while you tried to "hold space" or "listen actively," you know the feeling of helplessness. This week's free resource is the 5-Minute Session-Saver Script. It's a 1-page PDF that gives you the exact phrases (Affect Labels) to use when a client is: 1. Aggressive/Yelling 2. Passive-Aggressive/Shut Down 3. Spiraling in Grief It stops the "emotional storm" in about 90 seconds by hacking the brain's safety system. Want it? Drop SESSION below and I'll send it over. Once you read it, tell me which "Mistake" phrase you were using the most.

Telling someone to “relax” or “be rational” might sound helpful. In high-stakes conversations, it usually has the opposite effect. This week’s free resource is the Emotional Invalidation Audit, a 2-page PDF listing the phrases that quietly pour fuel on the fire. Most leaders use at least seven of them. Want to see where you’re accidentally escalating? Drop CALM below and I’ll send the audit. Once you’ve read it, share one phrase you’re going to stop using.

This is the current positioning statement for my upcoming book on leadership empathy. What are your impressions? "You've been trained to lead the 5% of the brain that's deliberate and conscious. Strategic planning. Data analysis. Goal-setting. But the decisions that truly matter, trust, engagement, loyalty, and performance, occur in the other 95%. Your team's minds are constantly asking: "Am I safe here? Do I matter? Can I trust this person?" The answers to these questions, processed in milliseconds beneath conscious awareness, influence whether people put in extra effort or quietly disengage, whether they stay for years or start interviewing elsewhere, and whether they take risks or play it safe. The skill that engages 95% of the brain is called leadership empathy, and 72% of executives dismiss it as a soft, unnecessary, and immeasurable trait. That's the paradox this book tackles. Leadership empathy is a neuroscience-based approach that activates brain circuits related to trust, motivation, and commitment. You'll learn it through the A.R.A. method (Acknowledge-Reflect-Ask), track your progress objectively, and improve every metric you measure: retention increases, turnover decreases, engagement increases, conflict decreases, innovation increases, and dysfunction decreases. Not because you're being nicer, but because you're targeting the 95% of the brain that influences the behaviors and attitudes of a highly functional team." Give me your thoughts and suggestions in a comment.

When someone is escalating, their brain isn’t rational—it’s reactive. You’re often talking to a brain that can’t access its higher functions yet. Before debating feelings or ideas, address the brain state. Calm the amygdala, re-activate the prefrontal cortex. That’s where the science lives. What is one tool you use to stop the debate, or a reminder that helps address the brain state?