@Paulo Costa, The Roaster @Karin Crawford Karin... what do you want from this About Page? đ¤ I mean- what state do you want the reader to be in? What do you want them to feel? What do you want them to be thinking? And is your goal for this About Page to be a product description? A sales post? A vibe post? An advertisement? Right now, I feel as though this About Page version has a lot put into it- AKA it's loaded... and at the start it's talking about vibes and the ultimate goal of people and then we go into the fact that they have a video library and can use their videos in the group... đ¤ AKA I feel as though we're throwing all of the spaghetti at the wall and hoping one part will leave a deep impression that causes the reader of the About Page to buy... đ¤ But instead of pouring everything in- we can choose ONE purpose for the About Page, AKA one way we want people to 1. THINK, 2. FEEL, 3. DO from having read it... You don't need to "catch" the reader- cause them to buy... We need the reader to take ONE step THAT GETS THEM ON THE ROAD TOWARDS BUYING. AKA you don't need to instantly sell them the castle, the moat, the village, and the land. You can pass them the deed first, and then they read it, and then they ask questions, and then they do more and more SMALL STEPS- ONE STEP AT A TIME... until they are ready to sign the contract to purchase. So, the first question I'm asking myself as I'm reading this here is how you intend to use this About Page and then I'm asking myself what VERY FIRST STEP you want the buyer to naturally progress on... We can only be satisfied with this About Page once it is doing the job that it is intended to do- SO WE NEED TO DEFINE WHAT THE JOB OF THE ABOUT PAGE IS. And the job of the About Page isn't: FOR PEOPLE TO JOIN THE GROUP. That's already a given- that's the big, vast, vague, broad and ineffective goal that matches up with throwing all of the spaghetti at the wall and hoping some will stick.