Walaikum as salam. I am doing good, alhmadulillah. How are you doing? Work had been busy and health a bit off, I plan on resting this weekend. I had a few ideas I wanted to explore for my growth outside my work so I am investing most of my time in that now. May Allah put barakah in it.

Yes, subhan allah, an event I can finally join 🙃

@Sadia Riaz Oh this is so beautiful 🥰 I love your mindset. May Allah make it more easy for you 🙃

@Sadia Riaz 🤗 Ameen, it is a journey and you will figure it out.

Oh wow, jazak allah khairan 🥰

I see it as accepting each other with the good and the bad. I don't believe there is any family that is perfect or not complicated, so for me it is to respect the challenges that comes with family and support eachother in whichever way we can. I think the main thing for me regarding family is not using it against each other, your mother, your sister, your uncle etc etc. Family ties can be a vulnerability so I would say not exploit it.

@Ayesha Zafar First of all, I pray Allah gives you a spouse that never becomes a test for you, one that will be opposite to everything you fear regarding marriage. I come from the same culture, so when I say I understand, I mean it. Until recently I did had the similar opinion but I learned that the only thing it was doing was limiting me, enforcing patterns that shouldn'tbe applied enmass, because that fear, that hesitation became a wall, a checkbox that was meant to fail no matter what or how good someone was. I hope this helps you, look at it from a different perspective, knowing this, understanding this helps you identify these traits and you can use them, inquire about them in your marriage search. While I don't agree with your mother's proverb but I respect that her opinion is shaped by her experiences and no one has the right to say they are wrong. But what I would suggest you is not to develop that mindset that your mother's experience, or what you see is going to be yours. You can respect where you mother is coming from but still chose differently. Also while I have seen similar experiences, I chose to focus on those that are positive, where I see love, care within the same culture. Cause yes some of it is cultural but a lot of it is also individual, upbringing, and most importantly refusal to change as an individual. I mean this saying is more about wealth that, while you can't chose if you are born poor but it is on you if you die poor. The logic applies here, it was never in our hand which culture we were born in but we can still chose which parts of it is ours and what we won't let define us. Another thing is I believe if someone follows Islam in it's true essence, not the cultural islam we grew up with things like these will never be a problem. So I pray Allah bless you with someone that understand and strive for correcting his deen and one who understand the duties, haaya of marriage before the rights ❤️❤️