My lunch time prayer with @Madison_Yount https://youtu.be/xk2NMRCuVy8?si=kKbdkPXngFkq7SKH This is so good and refreshing, oh my goodness👏

For those of you who expected Art in this community, I can only apologize to you, please forgive me🙏 People who know me would say, rebellious, your not a rebel❣️ Well, inside, I have been a rebel🧐 The Lord has exposed me to myself. It is the enemy who intended to hurt me, falling asleep driving, using this to drive me to move closer to work. I mean inner drive, I couldn’t drop it❣️ My art supplies are in storage. I don’t have the physical energy to go and unpack the storage. I had to pay the monthly fee to protect my art supplies, my recliner and art shelves etc. This has gone to uncover some underlying grief. My 42 year old missing my birthday for the second year in a row. But Mother’s Day approaching is a hard one. More on that later. This is the foundational growth in life of me working to grow in life and my spirit to be able to maintain the community long term. If this process doesn’t help anyone, I am sorry for this too. I pray it helps someone in the future that is holding back from the calling of God on your life. This is my process as I begin working on the call of God on my life beyond not showing up. This is me showing up before I am ready in obedience with The Lord. Only obedience will help the movement forward count for something. I have always said, I want my pain to count for something. You’re art may be easy for you to create and to share. Please show your art in that case. Share a new post and find some community support. Being vulnerable With communication may be more difficult for you. Please share your art. I don’t want to feel bad about not creating art yet. You could begin your own community at get started with your art and on your calling. My coach suggests that I create live or video. Maybe I could walk through some of my intuitive art that empress's my inner life. This is what causes me a set back on vulnerability. I set out to create beauty but it shows my grief instead or my inner hurt instead. It can’t be read by those not skilled in art language but I know all to well what it has to tell me. What God must want to expose. I have thought it was the devil trying to ruin my creativity when It is The Lord using it for my calling instead. This is a new view of myself. So it is just now showing up in faith for me.

Update 4/20/26 I got some peace to stop my fast this morning. I was becoming so physically weak. I wasn’t eating properly to sustain myself. I ate a lot of Shredded Wheat Cereal because that is all I wanted. Feeling better now. Blessings So liquid fasting breakfast, stopped drinking coca cola and stopped eating ice cream, has left me feeling un-spiritual for certain. I don’t remember now when I started. Seems like Wednesday or Thursday after Resurrection Day. I am more exhausted than ever. This is entirely my fault though. I ate cereal for several days. It is all I wanted. More sleepy now than just driving, it is a damper on my body and in my body. I feel tired, despair in the fact that I must stay were I live even though it affects me in a negative way. Here is the consistent drive in the morning to work. On my birthday, the 14th, It took me two hours drive-to work because of car accidents. I started on the desperate journey to find a home closer to work. Looming over about twenty apartments on The Lists and Zillow each day and visiting two apartments each day at least. I look tired and feel I am sleep walking. I just told everyone I am just tired from driving which is true. Fasting, praying and reading the word, not all that for me. I wanted it to be so much more spiritual than it is for me. I feel bad and wore myself out looking for an apartment and working. Not sure if you all fasted for a while before? The good thing is, I stoped the flow of a curse word at the first syllable two times this week. That is the only curse words in this time frame so far, that tried to sneak out while speaking. This is the whole point of my fast. So yea👏 To purge out the auto draft of a curse word when I want to get a point across that I am serious ❣️ I ate some meat the last two days which helped a lot. I have to muster up some energy to move half my stuff back into the house today or tomorrow. I planned out where things are going and my coach mentioned going live in the community instead of writing posts.

I am not moving to Houston. All three, various income possibilities, doors closed. I still have half my belongings in storage. Long story on this one. I am sure I will use the example in a future course. Since my home is half-full, I am taking the opportunity to create all the studio spaces that I need. I am setting up my recording space backdrop for my videos for YouTube, Courses for Skool and maybe Skillshare. Still have a lot of work to do. Will get the rest of my things from storage next weekend. Clarity of mind to set this up and plan for upcoming recording space. In process. I am so Grateful, day 7 of liquid fast. Can’t wait to eat in 10 minutes. This is working. The main goal is, to stop releasing unintentional curse words. I work with felons just leaving prison. Curse words are a language but it doesn’t belong in my heart or mouth. I haven’t been able to stop when I have any type of emotional response. It is implanted in my deepest parts since 13 years old. I decided to pray and fast and keep the flow of gratefulness going. The benefits are exceeding what I am asking for. Getting some breakthrough at work as well. My groups are truly shifting. I am more animated as well in order to keep their attention. About 32 men of various ages and various levels of crime. Various lengths of incarceration. I am staying awake driving. My heart is opening for more joy. I am less tired, more alert. The backdrop is my intuitive art processing grief for several, multiple people and multiple times. Different mediums with different expressions. Just some small persona work that is very meaningful to me. No planning. Some of the message is disturbing as in childhood trauma that just flowed out of nowhere. Others are grief from loosing two of my four children. My planning for art and grief courses are developing nicely. I hope some of you will begin sharing where you are at with your artwork and or process of grief work. Blessings Renee Oh,👏 I will be working overtime for a while. Yes, it will take more of my time. But, I will be able to pay for my living expenses better.

Liquid Fasting up to 12:00 PM at 3 days in I am sharing my process with this community. Vulnerability is a value that I cherish. Routine: Walking my dogs early in the morning. My eyes seem to be noticing my surroundings. We are walking into the curb and my fur-babies stop multiple times along the way as usual. I look up and notice the repetition of lights on the third floor of a building across the pond. I saw them clearly with intensity of interest and feeling of awakening. I looked around at all the repetition around me and felt excited to take photos. I praised God for opening my heart and eyes to see His creation again. The elements and principles of art have been everywhere but I was grateful for the trees, water, birds, loud frogs and flowers. I notices all the textures but didn’t have an ounce of value for repetition. I was set for my day driving an hour to work and stayed awake the entire trip. Grateful and Thanksgiving in a new level of experiencing life around me. Sights and hearing became more alert.