❇️ How I stopped stressing out about life

Jun 23 • Mindset

Two years ago around this time, my teacher assigned us our first speech in high school.

I still remember the moment she announced it.

My hands started sweating.

My mind started spinning with every possible way I could mess up — stuttering, going blank, embarrassing myself in front of 30 classmates I barely knew.

And then the day came.

I went up there. Heart pounding. Voice shaky.

But I made it through.

The class went silent…

And my teacher said something I’ll never forget:

...

“Did you go up there knowing you were gonna kick everyone’s ass?”

I laughed — mostly in disbelief.

Because internally, I had no clue what I was doing.

And that one moment taught me something I didn’t realize at the time...

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago.

Same teacher. Different class. Another speech.

But this time, it’s weird… I’m not nervous at all.

I looked around the room during work time — everyone was stressed.

People biting their nails. Asking me to check their outlines. Overthinking every detail.

And I just felt calm.

Not because I’m some superhuman speaker or anything.

But because I’d learned something that changed the way I look at stress completely.

And it came from this one research study I read.

---------------------------------------------Is Stress Really Bad?---------------------------------------------

It was by researchers at the University of Wisconsin.

They asked a bunch of adults two things:

How much stress have you experienced in the last year?
Do you believe stress is harmful to your health?

Eight years later, they checked how many of those people had died.

Turns out, high levels of stress DID increase the risk of death —

But only for the people who believed stress was harmful.

People who experienced lots of stress but believed it was helpful?

They actually had the lowest risk of death — even lower than people who had little stress at all.

Let that sink in.

The BELIEF that stress is bad is what was actually bad.

That’s when I realized: maybe it’s not the stress that’s killing us.

Maybe it’s how we see it.

Most of us treat stress like this thing we have to avoid.

Like it’s poison. Something to escape or minimize.

But not all stress is bad.

Because not all stress is the same.

---------------------------------------------The 2 Types of Stress---------------------------------------------

There’s distress — which is the one we all know. The kind that causes anxiety, tension, breakdowns.

But there’s also eustress.

That’s the kind of stress that makes you feel alive.

The one that sharpens you, energizes you, gets you locked in.

You’ve felt it before.

That rush right before a big test you actually studied for.

That pressure of lifting a heavier weight at the gym.

The nerves before doing something new that actually matters to you.

That’s eustress.

It’s the kind of stress that comes when the challenge is real — but so is your ability to handle it.

Your brain literally adapts to it.

It strengthens neural pathways, increases focus, and builds confidence.

And that’s exactly what I experienced during that first speech.

It was hard. But it was GOOD hard.

Now compare that to distress.

Distress is when the pressure exceeds your ability to cope.

You feel helpless.

You’re not even doing the task — just stuck in your head.

Everything feels overwhelming.

It’s like when you haven’t studied at all, and your test is in 10 minutes.

Or when you’re trying to juggle 10 things and your homework assignments just keep piling.

Or when you overthink for 3 days straight about a conversation that lasted 10 seconds.

That’s the kind of stress that drains you.

And yeah — that one does harm you.

So the key isn’t to avoid stress.

It’s to cultivate the right kind of stress — and limit the wrong kind.

That’s how I approach it now.

---------------------------------------------How I Manage Stress---------------------------------------------

When I know something stressful is coming up, I actually do small things to create eustress ahead of time.

Like before a big speech, I’ll practice in front of my parents.

It’s a little awkward. But it helps me lock in.

Cold showers do the same.

Pushups to failure.

Editing with a deadline.

Asking questions in class when my brain’s screaming at me to stay quiet.

These things aren’t comfortable.

But they’re not overwhelming either.

And over time, they build my capacity to handle the real stuff.

Stress becomes less scary.

Because my brain’s already trained to deal with it.

---------------------------------------------Actionable Steps---------------------------------------------

Now here’s where you use this.

If you’re tired of stress controlling you, here’s a few ways to flip that:

Take a cold shower tomorrow morning. Even just 30 seconds.
Talk to someone new — could be in class, in public, or online.
Volunteer for a project you feel slightly underqualified for.
Push your workout to failure for just one set.
Try journaling about something stressful — and list one action step you could take right now.
Or post something uncomfortable here — like a story or question you’ve been overthinking.

Start small.

But start.

Because the goal isn’t to avoid stress.

It’s to get stronger with it.

Use stress like a tool. Train with it.

And when the big moments come — like they always do — you won’t fold.

You’ll be ready.

🎫 If you’ve been trying this or struggling with it, drop a reply or even msg me abt it.

We’re all figuring it out. But no one’s doing it alone.

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