21d • WRITINGS
adolesson
this may violate some privacy act
but if i’m gonna tell it, it has to be
the facts, it can only be the facts
unless i’m dealing with women
those true stories sit in the drafts
...
twenty-three-year-old me
mentored this seventeen-year-old
tall, lanky, adolescent addict named dane
from what i recall, my dog was pretty great
he just had a dad that brought on all of his pain
no surprise there, most fathers do
and i wish it weren’t true
he also had a mom that was a breaking bad jane
she couldn’t stay away from that blue
that young pup never wanted to explain
he had no parents to turn to like baby bruce wayne
so he was always protecting his appearance like bane
and i was there to be the signal he could look up to
like batman, without the dark knight rises
but a couple late dark nights
made it easy for me to pick up some vices
defined as moral decay or corruption
basically what comforts you while killing you slowly
driving reckless on every road, adrenaline has consumed my cognition
reminiscing on future me missing old me like i won’t be in a better position
bad habits go for years after giving ‘em a few seconds
i should know that
the jobs i work serve people with all types of addictions
impurities controlling me but i’m pure enough to root for my kin
remember the name: caleb curtain
the league will feel him
knew that back when i met the eleven-year-old him
those college coaches just better not wear my boy thin
christien will take over all things track if he wants that to be his impact
he’s the baby, and i look up to him how we all look up to see an eclipse
whenever his meet schedule drops, none of his race days are a skip
camren, that coastal situation doesn’t make you a failure
it taught you a lesson and handed you a carded gift
as long as you read what’s written and don’t just take the money out of it
you’ll have the power to achieve all that you wished
jamel, keep milly rocking them boys in that magnolia state
did the playboi last ‘cause he’s the furthest and his success isn’t up for debate
i’ve been flowing on my brothers road for a minute
but the next path isn’t off that cybersecurity exit
so my old man needs to dead it
there i said it, and the next time i say it, has to be to his face
he may say “that’s not smart chandelor but do what you want”
or we may have a different kind of absent father, probing son cliché
in this one, the junior is leaving and the dad is left with questions but has to stay
support me or support me not
i’m somewhat stable to keep going on this lonely author freeway
yeah yeah, eversince my days at south to the west
it’s been me and whatever thoughts that come out to play
nothing has changed, i’m still scraping by in the carolinas
hard to get ahead when you’re getting paid seventeen an hour
wrote that last line when i first started writing and that’s still what i make
made that mentoring teens who just wanted to escape
you don’t gotta explain, i completely understand dane
made that teaching on louisiana ave
where i got bitched by kids two decades under my age
made that when i cleaned piss and shit off HIV, HEP C-infested toilets
for junkies that played like they wanted to get clean but just wanted a place to stay
and don’t talk to me about getting a real job, my dreams aren’t old enough to have a say
nobody will care that writing forces my mind into these types of three-point turns
i speed by a place but when i sit down to give this my all
time starts steering every which way for me to return
but at least it ends with me unmasking a face
that’s both unscathed and burned
hopefully, those two sides help put a
dent
in what has to be sculpted for fame
and success
love my boy dequan
but i don’t care what he says
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adolesson
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