Buy My Mom a House Syndrome
Buy Dejon Jernagin, Author of When The Cheers Stop: How to Help Athletes Deal with Depression “I gotta make it.” “I’m the one.” “I’m the ticket out.” For many young athletes—especially Black athletes—those phrases aren’t just motivation; they’re a heavy burden. They grow up hearing, “You’re going to buy your momma a house,” and from that moment forward, their purpose becomes performance. Their identity is tied to potential. Their value measured by victories. This is what I call “Buy My Mom a House Syndrome.” It’s the deeply embedded belief that success in sports is the only acceptable path out of struggle, not just for yourself—but for your entire family, and sometimes an entire community. While it may start as a noble ambition, it can also become a dangerous mindset that fosters overwhelming pressure, internalized fear of failure, and eventually, depression if the dream doesn’t pan out. As the author of When The Cheers Stop: How to Help Athletes Deal with Depression, I’ve walked alongside countless young men and women whose dreams collided with reality. When the path to the pros closes—and for most, it does—what’s left behind is often silence, shame, and a sense of deep personal failure. But here’s the truth that we must all embrace: Your worth is not determined by your wins.