Until my nerve pain, muscle spasms, weakness, and back/legs/feet took my art away from me. It was literally making my chronic pain worse and I loved to do acrylic pouring and abstract art which requires more spoons than I can carry each day. I try to see it in a positive light that maybe I was born to do other things that bring more people joy in their life. I don't even need to try anymore, I used to have to force myself to smile and get through the day until I could go home and lie down. I had some great times creating these pieces of art. It was fun and extremely therapeutic for me. I will update you all on my next post to let you know what does give me joy, peace, and happiness. It's not a silver bullet, but I can't wait to share with you next week about my multiple current ventures.

What do you do with a life you nearly didn't get to keep ? After surviving a devastating wreck, Mike Belliotti discovered that staying alive and learning how to live are two very different things. Bigger Than Luck is an unflinching collection of poems about what comes after survival: chronic pain that becomes its own weather, a mind capable of both breathtaking heights and crushing darkness, anger at the life that was lost, grief for the person you used to be, and the slow realization that healing does not always mean being cured. Moving through mortality, depression, bipolar disorder, isolation, identity, accountability, love, nature, creativity, and hope, these poems refuse easy answers. They do not call suffering a gift. They do not pretend every wound contains a lesson. Instead, they ask a harder question: When you cannot change what happened to you, what will you choose to make from what remains? Raw, vulnerable, darkly funny, and ultimately life-affirming, Bigger Than Luck is for anyone who has survived something that divided life into before and after-and is still figuring out who they are becoming on the other side. Because luck may explain why the heart kept beating. It cannot decide what the heart beats for. Survival kept you alive. What comes next is -- Mike

My poetry book, "Bigger Than Luck", is an unflinching collection of poems about what comes after survival: chronic pain that becomes its own weather, a mind capable of both breathtaking heights and crushing darkness, anger at the life that was lost, grief for the person you used to be, and the slow realization that healing does not always mean being cured. I wanted to use this platform to reach more people - 20 years of chronic pain, and I'm only 38, so there is so much grief about "my old life". We will be discussing these and how we can alleviate them for you. Moving through mortality, depression, bipolar disorder, isolation, identity, accountability, love, nature, creativity, and hope, these poems refuse easy answers. They do not call suffering a gift. They do not pretend every wound contains a lesson. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks and then in-patient rehab for 4 weeks before I could go home (Check out the pictures below to see how I was looking for those 10 weeks. The physical rehab was tough due to the fact that I lost all feeling, movement, and numbness below the waist. It took 4 weeks to finally successfully move one of my big toes. I am beyond lucky I can walk again. I was 20 years old when that accident happened. Now that I am 38, the pains and aches, decreased mobility, and the falls are all back as my body has finally caught up to me. Instead, they ask a harder question: When you cannot change what happened to you, what will you choose to make from what remains? Raw, vulnerable, darkly funny, and ultimately life-affirming, Bigger Than Luck is for anyone who has survived something that divided life into before and after—and is still figuring out who they are becoming on the other side. Because luck may explain why the heart kept beating. It cannot decide what the heart beats for. Thank you for reading this. I know it was a long write-up! And FYI - I created a group called When The Pain Becomes The Weather. Please join! And any comments or likes I see, then I will make sure to add you. A lot of us are on this journey together.

First initial post! Due to that, I felt it was necessary to tell you about me first in addition to my life-changing event in 2007. I barely survived a devastating and tragic car accident the week before I went to college for freshman year. The motor vehicle accident was a hit-and-run. My two best friends, Josh and Ryan, were killed immediately after the car from behind hit us while he was going 90mph which caused us to spin out and then eventually the car rolled 3 times until it landed against a light pole. I was the lone survivor. Most call it a miracle/blessing, but they have no idea how that makes me feel. I have been able to realize that none of this was my fault, and hey, I am lucky. What are the chances I would live? Let alone the fact that I can walk again! I discovered that staying alive and learning how to live are two very different things. Even when they told me I had a 5-10% chance to walk, I knew right then and there I would never stop moving. I am almost finished with my poetry collection, "Bigger Than Luck", is an unflinching collection of poems about what comes after survival: chronic pain that becomes its own weather, a mind capable of both breathtaking heights and crushing darkness, anger at the life that was lost, grief for the person you used to be, and the slow realization that healing does not always mean being cured. Moving through mortality, depression, bipolar disorder, isolation, identity, accountability, love, nature, creativity, and hope, these poems refuse easy answers. They do not call suffering a gift. They do not pretend every wound contains a lesson. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks and then in-patient rehab for 4 weeks before I could go home (Check out the pictures below to see how I was looking for those 10 weeks. The physical rehab was tough due to the fact that I lost all feeling, movement, and numbness below the waist. It took 4 weeks to finally successfully move one of my big toes. I am beyond lucky I can walk again. I was 20 years old when that accident happened. Now that I am 38, the pains and aches, decreased mobility, and the falls are all back as my body has finally caught up to me.