12d • General discussion
🔥 Your Coaching Is Making Your Virtual Assistants Worse
Ok, so today I want to go over something that I think about constantly. And it's going to be uncomfortable for some of you to hear.
Most of us suck at being managers. Including myself.
When a VA messes up, most of us react over EMOTIONALLY. We jump down their throat. Fire off frustrated messages. Knowing we know should have never sent it. The irritation bleeds through everything - the tone of the message, the shortness of the reply, the way they word things. Then the next day or the next week when it happens again, they repeat the exact same cycle. Jump down their throat. Tell them how they messed up. Tell them to do better…
This is the management style of about 90% of leaders. They wait for the next mistake and then they pounce. They spend their time frustrated and grumpy with their teams. They tell their VAs the same things 10 times and it still doesn't stick.
And the VAs don't actually get any better. In fact, they get worse.
Why?
Because this style of management makes people incredibly uncomfortable. Literally Scared. Insecure in their job. Confused. It makes them numb to your coaching and feedback. They get offended. They get stressed. Then their performance falls off even further because now they're walking on eggshells trying not to mess up again. Instead of doing their job with confidence, they end up playing defense too. Overthinking everything. Trying to avoid mistakes instead of trying to win.
Instead of being shown how and why to improve and what it will do for them, they are constantly told what NOT to do.
And what makes this even harder with remote VAs is that they can't see your face. They can't read your body language. All they have are your words on a screen. So when you send a blunt message because you're busy and frustrated, they don't read it as "my boss is in a rush." They read it as "my boss is FURIOUS at me." Text-based communication gets misread constantly. A message you thought was direct, your VA read as hostile. That gap causes more damage than most people realize. And they quit.
I see this pattern everywhere. Every week I work with somebody who is stuck in this loop. Incredibly aggressive. Expecting their virtual assistant to work every second of the shift. Expecting them to never make mistakes. Expecting their VA to be as committed and versatile as them. It’s stupid. They think the problem is their VA. It's not. The problem is the environment you built. Your expectations. If VAs on your team keep failing, look at the system before you blame the person. Look at your management style. Be real with yourself.
This guide is about fixing that system. How to give feedback that makes your VA better instead of making them shut down. How to listen. How to plan so your remote team actually wants to win for you.
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🔥 Your Coaching Is Making Your Virtual Assistants Worse
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