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Some basic guidelines...
I would like to welcome everyone to our little community. We are just starting, but it's the perfect time to talk about how I would like us to behave toward one another. Feel free to participate in any of the conversations, old or new. Feel free to start a conversation. If anything... Be kind. Be respectful. Be curious. Be careful. Please let's not judge one another. There are 8 billion people on the planet, there are 8 billion ways to experience things, at least. Be compassionate. Let's create a safe space for people to be able to share. Emotions are big, they can be scary. Exploring them can be overwhelming. Let's help each other build the type of community where we can encourage safety, security and understanding. Be open and open-minded. Be honest. And let's not give advice. Let's share our experiences. If you feel like you've lived something that might benefit someone else, let's avoid "you" statements and "should" ideas and focus more on "I" phrases and "could" ideas.
Let it be
Sometimes, we don't have to do anything. We can just let the feeling be there and let it run its course. Sometimes, doing nothing but observing allows us to be fully present in a moment without needing to fix, solve or escape it. Sitting with a feeling, with an emotion opens an opportunity to meet ourselves exactly where we are, as we are...
Let it be
Hope vs. Expectation: The Subtle Difference That Saves Your Peace
We often use these two words interchangeably, but mixing them up is a recipe for internal chaos. Here’s the breakdown of why one sets you free while the other keeps you bound. The Anatomy of Hope Hope is a "felt sense" of something that is lacking mixed with the desire to fill it. It’s an interesting emotional cocktail because it requires acquiescence. - The Drive: You want something better. - The Peace: You accept the state of affairs exactly as they are right now. - The Magic: Hope leaves space for a better future while fully embracing the present—even if things never change. The Rigidity of Expectation Expectation is hope’s more demanding cousin. It is rigid, unwavering, and—honestly—a bit of a bully. - The Trap: Expectation refuses to accept the current reality. - The Result: It leaves no room for pivot or peace; it only leaves room for disappointment when the world doesn't align with your blueprint. The "Havoc" Check Have you ever let these two become synonyms in your mind? When we turn a hope into an expectation, we stop being present and start being entitled to a specific outcome. That’s usually when the havoc starts. How to keep them separate: 1. Audit your "Musts": If you feel like a specific outcome must happen for you to be okay, you’ve drifted into expectation. 2. Practice Presence: Hope says, "I'd love for this to happen." Expectation says, "This has to happen." 3. The Pivot: If you see them overlapping, take a breath and "release the grip." Return to the state of being okay with the now, regardless of the next. The takeaway: Hope is an open hand; expectation is a clenched fist. Have you experienced this? How did it play out? What did you learn about your own hopes and expectations? How has this influenced you in your current life?
The Trap of Familiar Fear
We often think of fear and feeling unsafe as reactions to the present, but they are actually ghosts of the past clouding the lens of the "now." When we can’t predict a safe outcome, our minds refuse to settle for "I don’t know." Instead, we manufacture a "certainly intolerable" future by kicking up a thousand "what-ifs." This creates a false sense of urgency—a desperate need to move, to react, to do something. We act because movement feels like control. We repeat old, reactive patterns because they are familiar, and in the fog of anxiety, we mistake familiarity for safety. But this is a loop: The Agitation: Our frantic movement is like sitting in muddy water. The Clouding: Every time we reach for "safety" through reactive behavior, we stir up the sediment, clouding the water and our ability to see clearly. The power of doing nothing: The hardest thing to do when you feel unsafe is to be still. Yet, that stillness is the only way out of the fog. When you stop moving—when you stop the reactive behaviors and sit with the "wrongness" of uncertainty—the sediment begins to settle. The water clears. The weight of those thousand "what-ifs" starts to fall away, not because you solved them, but because you stopped feeding them. Clarity isn't something you create; it’s what remains when the agitation subsides. Sometimes, doing nothing is the most productive thing you can learn to do. It is the only way to let the water clear so you can finally see what's truly present.
Sitting with it
What does it mean to sit with something? We here this often; I'm guilty of saying it... But what does it mean to sit with our feelings, a worry, a grief etc.? For me, when I say I need to sit with something, I mean I need to connect to what is present (physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally). I'm not looking to analyze or interpret or solve something. I'm just interested in connecting to what is there and letting it wash over me. When I do this, I give what's happening the space to subside, like a wave that builds and then crashes. This connection to what is present for me gets me out of the "what if" hurricane in my mind that whips up a lot of tension, agitation and stress. What does sitting with something mean to you and how has it unfolded for you?
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