27d • THRIVE
How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body
Don't.
Don't talk to her about her body at all, except when you are teaching her how it functions and how to care for it.
Fight the urge to comment if her weight changes. Say nothing if she gets smaller. Say nothing if she gets bigger. Even if you think she looks incredible, keep that thought to yourself. Instead, try words that reflect strength, well-being, or joy. You might say, “You look really healthy.”Or, “You seem strong lately.”Or, “I can see how happy you are. You have such a glow.” Better yet, notice things that have nothing to do with appearance at all. Praise her curiosity, her courage, her kindness, or her effort.
Be mindful of how you talk about other women, too. Do not make comments about their bodies, positive or negative. Let your daughter grow up without hearing women evaluated by how they look.
Teach her to be gentle with others and just as gentle with herself.
Never criticize your own body in front of her. Do not complain about what you hate or announce the latest diet you are trying. Eat nourishing food. Cook meals that support health. But do not label foods as good or bad or talk about cutting things out. When food becomes moralized, shame follows, and shame never leads to confidence or peace.
Encourage her to move because it feels good. Suggest running when stress builds. Invite her to hike because being high above the world can quiet the mind. Let her try activities that challenge her, even scare her a little. Fear can be a teacher.
Support her involvement in sports she truly loves. Athletics can build leadership, resilience, and self-trust. Help her understand that collaboration and teamwork matter at every stage of life. Never force her into a sport that does not light her up.
Show her that women are capable. Lift heavy things. Fix what needs fixing. Let her see independence modeled, not announced.
Teach her how to prepare vegetables and how to make a rich, indulgent dessert. Let her know nourishment and pleasure can coexist.
Share family recipes. Share your love of nature. Share traditions that make her feel rooted.
If she inherits a body part that does not fit narrow ideals, help her see it differently. Strong legs are made for distance and endurance. A wide ribcage protects powerful lungs that allow her to breathe deeply, sing loudly, shout when necessary, and carry strength into the world.
Remind her often that her body is not an ornament. It is an instrument.
The most important thing she can do with it is live fully and let it carry her spirit where it wants to go.
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How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Body
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