15d (edited) ā¢ Tools and Drops
š ļø TOOL 03 ā BOUNDARIES IN ACTION
Use this when you feel drained, resentful, reactive, or stuck repeating the same dynamics.
This tool is not about confrontation.
It's about clarity and self-respect.
š Step 1: Name the drain.
What situation, person, or pattern is currently costing you energy?
One sentence. No justification.
ā ļø Step 2: Identify the invisible agreement.
Finish this sentence honestly:
I am tolerating this becauseā¦
Examples:
- I donāt want conflict
- I donāt want to disappoint
- Iām hoping it will change
- I donāt want to feel guilty
This reveals the real boundary issue.
š§± Step 3: Name the boundary.
Complete this sentence:
A boundary here would look likeā¦
Be behavioural, not emotional.
Examples:
- saying no
- leaving earlier
- not responding immediately
- stopping explanation
- changing my availability
If itās vague, itās not a boundary.
š Step 4: Translate into action.
Complete this sentence:
This week, I willā¦
Choose one action you can realistically take within 7 days.
ā No speeches.
ā No rehearsing other peopleās reactions.
ā Important:
- Boundaries are not ultimatums
- Boundaries are not punishments
- Boundaries are information expressed through behaviour
You donāt need permission to act differently.
ā
AFTER YOU ACT
Once the boundary is enacted:
- Notice what changes
- Log it in Integration Logs using the required format
Discomfort does not mean you were wrong.
š Why this tool exists:
Most exhaustion comes from unspoken agreements.
Boundaries end the agreement.
Action makes it real.
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š ļø TOOL 03 ā BOUNDARIES IN ACTION
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