9d • Real Life Leadership
Soooo yesterday I was side swiped by a B-double truck...
but... I didn’t panic and that says less about calm, and more about responsibility.
There is a version of resilience that gets praised a lot. It is the composed version. That steady voice... You know, the person who appears calm while everything around them is not.
Today looked like that from the outside.
A B-double clipped my car this morning, and my response was immediate without second thought. The kids were in the car which was the most frightening part. I reassured the kids with "it's just a car it will be fine", I was stationary as he side swiped the drivers side. The b-dub size allowed me to have the time to assess the situation as the second trailer moved past the car lol. I took photos, gathered the details, and followed up with the company. I was clear, structured, and controlled in that situation.
It would be easy to label that as calm under pressure, right?
But that is not entirely accurate.
The kids were in the car, and that changes everything about how you respond. In that moment, your reaction is not just your own. It becomes the emotional cue for everyone else. If I panic, they panic. If I escalate, the situation escalates. What could remain a logistical issue quickly becomes something much harder to manage.
So I did not panic, not because I felt calm - in fact - my insides were raging initially, I have been working on myself so much, I consciously asked - what can I control in this situation? I knew panic = escalation which would take away the clear decisions that needed to happen.
I kept my voice steady. I chose my words carefully. I moved through what needed to be done without adding anything unnecessary to the situation. It was not about suppressing a reaction. It was about selecting the most effective one.
This is a type of composure that is often misunderstood. It does not come from a place of ease or detachment. It comes from awareness. It comes from understanding the role you are playing in that moment and responding in a way that creates stability rather than uncertainty.
For many women, particularly those balancing business, leadership, and family, this is not unusual. It is a learned response. You become very good at reading the room, assessing what is needed, and adjusting yourself accordingly. You become the baseline that others take their cues from.
From the outside, it can look effortless.
It is not always.
Because what is happening internally does not disappear. It is simply deferred. The body still registers the event. It still processes what happened. It just does it later, once everything else has been handled.
That is the part that often goes unnoticed. The quiet fatigue that follows. The sense of flatness or heaviness that does not seem to match how well the situation was managed. The delayed recognition that something did, in fact, happen.
This is the cost of being the one who holds it together. Not in a dramatic sense, but in a very real and practical one. Regulation in the moment requires energy. Containment requires discipline. And both have a cumulative effect over time.
It is important to understand that handling something well does not mean it had no impact. Those two things can exist at the same time. It is good leadership, but you need to be able to navigate the post exhaustion that being consciously hyper aware of your surroundings after those leadership moments happen.
So yes, I stayed composed when a B-double hit the car today.
Because I made a decision, in real time, about how that moment needed to unfold. I controlled what I could control as the grown up and leader in that situation.
(We're all fine ;) )
Sar x
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Soooo yesterday I was side swiped by a B-double truck...
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