16d • General discussion
Play vs Pressure (and why kids confuse the two)
I’ve been thinking a lot about how often kids confuse pressure for play.
Pressure says:
“Do this right.”
“Don’t mess up.”
“This counts.”
Play says:
“Let’s see what happens.”
“Try this.”
“You can change it.”
Here’s the tricky part. Many kids only experience play inside pressure.
They learn that even creative spaces are evaluated.
Even open tasks are graded. Even curiosity is performative.
So when we say, “Just have fun with it,” what they often hear is: “Be playful, but don’t fail.”
That’s not play. That’s pressure wearing a costume.
True play has no immediate payoff. No guarantee of success. No clear endpoint.
It invites the subconscious to join the conscious mind. It allows ideas to surface before they’re judged. It lets kids stand in uncertainty without shame.
When that space disappears, perfectionism rushes in to fill the gap.
So here’s a question I’m sitting with, and I’d love to hear your thoughts:
Where in your kid’s (or your own) life has play quietly turned into pressure?
And what might it look like to give play its space back, even briefly?
No fixing. Just noticing.
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Play vs Pressure (and why kids confuse the two)
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