Dear Community, Some time ago, we shared that we were working on something new. Today, we are ready to share one of the most important outcomes of that work. Our formula has grown up. After using it extensively, listening carefully to your feedback, and continuing our research, one thing became clear: a change was not only useful, it was necessary. Not because the Happiness Formula was wrong. It is not. But because it opened a door that led further than we initially expected. We originally set out to offer a snapshot of happiness. Over time, however, we realised something fundamental: happiness, in all its richness and complexity, does not like being captured as a single score. It is lived, reflected, felt, and influenced by many factors at once. What this realisation allowed us to do was something far more powerful. It allowed us to understand where a person is actually standing right now in their life, with greater clarity and precision than before. This is where the breakthrough happened. The new approach does not try to measure happiness itself. Instead, it provides a clear and structured picture of how a person is functioning under their current life conditions. Where pressure exists. Where stability holds. And where focused work is most needed. This clarity changes everything about how support can be offered. Instead of long sessions spent trying to locate the real issue, we can now work from a clear starting point within minutes. Support becomes targeted rather than generic. Time is used where it matters most. Energy is invested where it actually helps to. This is why we are saying goodbye to the Happiness Formula and welcoming the Personal Stability Index. The PSI is not a promise of change by itself. It is a tool for precision. It tells us where you are standing right now, so that the work that follows is based on reality, not assumptions. Research, much like life itself, is a living process. It evolves, adapts, and deepens with experience. That is one of the reasons we continue this work with such commitment.

My dear friends, We are entering that magical time of the year, you know, the season of lights, cookies… and invitations we never asked for. It starts the moment you open that message: “Family Christmas dinner this year? Can’t wait to see everyone!” And instantly your stomach whispers: Oh no… not again. Because let’s be honest, for many people, Christmas is not stressful because of gifts or cooking. It’s stressful because suddenly we are thrown into a room with every relative we successfully avoided for 365 days. And then we get the annual package deal: - the same jokes, - the same stories, - the same “Did you gain weight?” - and of course, the classic “Ah, still no more hair than last year!” Every December we tell ourselves, this year will be different! We repeat positive affirmations like a motivational monk: “If I imagine it, it will happen.” Well… I can imagine myself becoming an astronaut as much as I want. The chances? Close to zero, I am too old, born in the wrong country, and still waiting for NASA to accidentally call me. So imagination alone… has its limits. Now, here comes the important part: If there were conflicts last year, real conflicts, unresolved problems, tension, drama and nobody solved them in the last 300 and so days, guess what? They will not magically disappear just because you are holding a gingerbread cookie in your hand. As adults, yes, we should be able to handle conflict. But not all conflicts can be solved. And not all conflicts should be solved at the cost of your happiness, your emotional balance, and your peace. That is why this year, I want to remind you of something powerful: You are allowed to say NO. You can say no to stress. You can say no to situations that drain you. You can say no to people who treat you badly and then hide behind “It’s just a joke.” You can say no to a dinner that would cost you three days of recovery and a week of self-doubt. If you already feel that tight pull in your stomach when you think about a Christmas dinner, please listen. Your body is speaking truth long before your mind admits it.

We all know this sentence. Most of us have said it at least once. And yes, sometimes it is absolutely fair. But is it always true? A client once came to me with a very specific plan and asked for my opinion. Now, when someone asks me for my opinion, they usually get it, even if it is not wrapped in glitter and applause. I shared my concerns calmly. She did not like it. In fact, she cancelled the next few appointments. Months later, completely out of the blue, she reached out again. At the next session she told me her big plan had backfired badly. Before I could say a word, she stopped me with “Please don’t judge me unless you’ve walked in my shoes.” That sentence stayed with me as I did hear many times through the years of coaching. My thought was this. Why would I need to walk in those shoes when I had already decided not to put them on? When I see a plan that carries a high risk to someone’s peace, stability, or happiness, and I verbalise that concern, it does not mean I do not understand the person. It means I have already done the mental cost benefit calculation for myself and what it would do to my happiness if it goes wrong. There are moments in life where we truly cannot understand someone unless we live through it. Illness. Loss. Sudden and uncontrollable events. But conscious choices are different. Risky investments. Staying in abusive relationships. Shortcuts in careers or life that quietly compromise values. I do not need to experience the crash to recognise the speed. Feelings add another layer. They feel very real, and they are real experiences, but they are not reality itself. Feelings reflect our emotional state, not the whole picture. The same decision can feel exciting and empowering at the beginning and devastating later, not because the situation changed, but because the outcome did. So no, I do not know how those shoes feel after the fall. But I know why I never put them on. Because my internal alarm system already told me this choice might threaten my happiness baseline.

As the year is slowly coming to an end, I wanted to give something back. I’m giving away four of my books to one winner: • The Psychology of Kindness • Echoes of Love • Wings of Resilience • You Don’t Have to Stay These books were written over different periods of my life. Different questions. Different challenges. But all with the same intention: to explore happiness, resilience, kindness, and the courage to move on honestly and without pretending that life is easy. 💛 How to participate: Simply comment below or send me a direct message answering one question: What does happiness mean to you right now? There is no right or wrong answer. One sentence is enough. 🎄 Winner announcement: 📅 24 December 2024 This isn’t really about winning books. It’s about pausing for a moment and reflecting and maybe inspiring someone else who reads your words. Thank you for being part of this space. Oliver