Dec '25 • General discussion
Family Court, oppression, manhood, feelings, children
April 8,2025-First court appearance to see my child and more
A man stands accused of a charge that would allow a reduced sentence for a plea to rape, when that was offered, the man stood and shook his head, as if he could not beleieve such an accusation was made. His girlfriend or wife is the victim. I know it happens, I stand with women who are victimized by men. There is nothing on this earth I love more than women and children. They are both so amazing. He too refuses an order of protection on his children. An officer immediatly taps on my shoulder to let me know my words are not allowed around here. Another man, directly in front of me, sits on his MacBook Pro, me, a lolely defendant, has no such right. He may have been an attorney, I am not sure. I may have words that offend those in the courtroom. They did seem awfully mad that I was typing, then, understandably, stretching. I stepped outside the courtroom again to take a gander at my phone, I thought, I gotta use the bathroom. So, I figured I better grab my belongings out of the court room, well, an officer decided to tell me that I must grab my belongings, to which I replied, yes, that is what I am doing. That got me removed from the court. The same court that has allowed a child to have no contact with his father at all, as he is accused of hitting a wall. The judge seeths with anger as I laugh at unjust case after unjust case. One thing is for certain, I will never willy nilly choose sexual partners again.
Is this seriously the justice system? While my neighbors are fearful that if their car is stolen, the officers will not even pull them over. That, is of course the democrats fault. Or is that one the republicans fault? I know one thing, because I said so is not a good response to any question I have ever had heard. I had come in contact with a friend of mine from many years ago named Brad. Oddly, the same name as a man I thought was my hero, Bradley. Bradley Nowel, from Sublime. I found out pretty soon thereafter that Bradley was not my hero. My hero was much closer to me, my father. How could I come to such a conclusion, you ask? Well, I have been in family court for about three weeks, and I have felt like quitting multiple times. Obviously, I had no choice in the matter, as my son is what I would actually be quitting on. I had no clue my father's struggles, I just judged from ignorance. I think everyone that knows me can I agree I would never quit, especially on my boy. Once I was playing a basketball game down by a hundred. I was the only one still giving it my all. Why would I still be trying? It is not about points. It is never been about points. It is about effort, it is about intention. I find it hard to accept a place that would let one man use his laptop and the next man not to be just. Seems they may have a bit of trouble in determining justice. That is unjust, the very rules in the courtroom are not just, but the process should be?
That day I parked my car at the parking meter, I put enough money in for one hour. The same car I tried to give my ex girlfriend as I felt it was wrong for me to take it from her in the first place. That was a supposedly a violation of a court order. I wanted my son to have his car and his home which I worked very hard for him to have. I have trouble with authority yes, but I have more trouble with the unjust law of man. I guess it should come as no surprise that as I walked up into the stand I was immediately arrested. The judge stated I needed bed to bed. Bed to bed for what? I have no mental health issues and I was not using any drugs. It was coercion, designed to allow me to accept a court order to lose the rights to my son. I did not accept, I wanted to go to trial. I would of course defend myself, as I know the case better than anyone. Unfortunately, the “IDV” court portion of the supreme court here in Buffalo, New York does not seem to allow that. I put in the proper forms and was disallowed from defending myself or even putting in motions. The assigned lawyer made it very clear he did not care what I had or had not done. He was focused on a deal, and he did not know nor care to know any details of my case. How would this person defend me at trial? The facts of the case should matter, in court here in the U.S it is about procedure, it is about money and it is about business as usual, while human beings lives are quite literally on the line.
Imagine a system in which an accusation was met not as an absolute fact. Imagine a system where what a person stand accused of is mentioned right near by the things they have done well. Why would we focus on on only the negatives? Why do we pretend jail and prison is reforming? It is not. I have been to both five combined times. What you learn in there is how to have respect for others. It allowed me to accept accountability for my actions, but this was not about jail, this was about breaking a person’s will. Attempting to convince a person they are crazy, demanding that an individual needs help. When a person’s life is turned upside down, are they disallowed from showing feelings? Are they not allowed to protest what they deem to be unjust? Christians disobey unjust laws, not blindly follow whatever is said to be the “law.” Secular society has some obsession with experts. There are no experts on our own bodies and minds. Only we are experts of our body and mind. Of our soul and spirit. Somewhere along the way we’ve quit trusting in ourselves. We know if something is wrong with us, we know when we need help.If anyone else is telling you that you need help, unless they have some specific occasions in which you have behaved in a way that would indicate you needed some type of help that is simply not for them to say. How could they have authority over our bodies, minds and spirit? Typically at that point you would form an intervention not shame and guilt someone and expect that to somehow work. I have needed help in the past. Twice, one time in 2007, once in 2017. In 2007 I did attempt to receive the help that was required, however, like many things here in America, it was about money and insurance. I could not get into rehab until commiting to a series of appointments. The thing about that is when you desperately need help, there may only be one second, one moment in which you are ready to go. Thanks to companies like Save The Michaels we do have that help available now, they can get almost anyone into treatment in twenty four hours or less. Twenty years ago, my help was going to State Prison. The second time, I had just been released from prison. As soon as I used I knew that I had to stop. I had told myself I would never go to jail or prison again for drugs. If I needed to go for another reason, sobeit. I have since went, but I was not using drugs. I took prescription medication, that was all anyone could grasp on to, there needed to be some reason to justify their incredible behavior. For many to attempt to judge me and act as if they somehow know what is going on in my life is laughable. I keep my cards close to the chest. No one could possibly know that about me, I do not trust anyone enough to let them know something like that, so to spread rumors at work, to a person’s family and more is not acceptable behavior. It is actually the opposite of helping a person. It is called harm. We need to reduce harm as much as possible, especially in our children.
The “IDV” court cared about one thing and one thing only, a conviction. They need them to keep the business afloat. There was no justice, there was no need to be there, it was a normal breakup, no accusations of domestic violence, there was one slight “fib” from my perspective which allowed this case to be heard in domestic violence court. How do you protect someone from a person who protects those people. I would never hurt my child’s mother. That would be harming my child, my pride and joy. I love him, I love her, regardless of how I feel about the entire situation. My feelings could never change to the point where I do not love the woman who gave me the most precious gift in the world. My child.
The court system is in place for profit. They must make money. How could a money making business be just? Profit is not just. Placing profits before humanity is the definition of oppression. I am not complaining about me, I can handle the abuse. I care about a system that has legalized crime and now must throw fathers in jail to keep the business running. I wanted the 911 call at trial, where I was hugging my family telling them it would be alright. “It’s okay, it’s alright, everything is alright.” I had no such luck with the lawyer who is paid by the state, against the D.A who is paid by the state and a judge who is an elected official, an elected official is a judge, also paid by the state. She is a politician. Masculinity has become a crime. Toxic masculinity is not true masculinity. Real masculinity is loving, caring and compassionate. We have been duped again into thinking there is something wrong with being a man. That there is something wrong with a man who cries. There is something
wrong with a man who does not cry. When we run from our emotions, we are bound to see negative behaviors appear. We must teach our boys to be men. We must let them know that they are men. They can be men, they can be better men than us. Men sometimes fight, it is ok. Men are sometimes savage, men have savagry in their DNA. We no longer must kill a lion to be initiated into manhood, now we
are raised by mothers who think it is okay and acceptable to have casual sex. Casual sex is a lie. Sex is a spiritual experience between two people. When we run from partner to partner we are hoping they fix our defects, but they never will. We will repeat the same mistakes and are bound to the same relationships over and over again. Pay close attention to your previous relationships. What happened? The same thing over and over again? We hurt each other because we do not know how to love because new feels so good. We just want new. New phones, new cars, new houses and NEW PARTNERS. Someday we think, okay I have all of these things. I got the wife. I got the car. I got the house. I have the amazing child. Why am I still not happy? The materials are worthless. No amount of money our stuff can fill the void that was caused when we were children. We have deep scars which must be healed. The great part is that each and every one of us is capable of healing those wounds. When we are able to take an honest look at our own behavior, we realize the mistakes that we have made. We have an opportunity to grow, heal and even become happy. When that occurs we may find that our life is not what we wanted at all. That is perfectly okay. Even though we may think we only have this life, we have a new life every day. Each day is a blessing where we can wake up and make a choice. We can decide to become the man we know deep down we can be, decide to become the woman we know we are. It is about honesty, we must be honest with ourselves and others. When dealing with others, we must be loving. If not, the message will get lost. Compassion has the power to change the world, we can put ourselves in another's shoes and lose our judgements and misconceptions about them. We are all human beings struggling in an unjust society. We can use this newfound power to become the change we would like to see in the world. We can let go of hate and resentment, we can become the person we were born to be. We can get on the spiritual path which we may not even realize we are seeking. I used to believe the twelve step programs sounded good, but I did not believe it. Today I have a new outlook on that program and many self help programs, the difficulty is being honest with ourselves. We do not want to put our parents down, so we fear an honest fourth step. Open mindedness is not as easy as we think, we believe we are open minded until we become open minded, then we realize we were ignorant. We want to shallowly do the program as we have shallowly lived life. Once we get beneath the surface we can start identifying with those who claim to have had a spiritual awakening. It is possible. We are not just globs of flesh.
We are the highest level conscious animals on the planet, it is not ours to destroy for profit however. People must come before profit. In a world that is unfair, in a country which hunts down our daughters for being tanned skin, we must attempt to rise above and be the change we would like to see in the world. Once we are able to do that, the world improves. We can build community, we can build a sustainable future for our children. We never know how a story is shown in another’s eyes. They say there are two sides to every story, your side, my side and the truth. I say there are many, many sides to a story, multiple perspectives we have never thought of until we finally think of them. Let us love. There is a better way, it is called the future, the future starts now. The future starts tomorrow. The future starts whenever we decide we are no longer okay with the wars, homelessness and unneeded oppression, harm and abuse that we sometimes act as if it is non-existent. It is ok to acknowledge our failures, our failures are the only thing that allow us success. Let us succeed.
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Family Court, oppression, manhood, feelings, children
