I was born from a woman who was a Jehovah's Witness and a father who came from a Catholic background (who refused to be a JW). I remember not ever wanting to be a JW. I remember not ever believing that what they taught was the truth. I remember asking questions and being told I ask too many questions. I realize now, that God was keeping me from that religion. I was 12 when my mother was invited to a church. I loved it. I still didn't understand it though. I was told about God, about Jesus, about the Holy Spirit. But I didn't fully grasp it nor my purpose in His grand design. I thought only certain people were called. Only certain people were chosen. And all I knew is that if I believed in Jesus, I would be "saved." And it was yet another "religion." There were a few times throughout the years when there was someone in a church setting, who "prophesied" over my life. I do not quite remember what was said but I do remember the times it happened because I remember second guessing and wondering "are you sure?" and leaving the situation saying,"what does this mean?" Fast forward. There is so much I can say that has happened between then and now however, the now, at 54 years of age, I can feel the rebirthing of my life. I am understanding what it means to believe in the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, that what He did for us was a major sacrifice (and that's not even touching the surface of what He did for us). I am understanding what it truly means to forgive, to have clarity, to live with the mind of Christ, to have a voice, to be safe, to remove distractions, to move forward while being distracted and in fear, to meditate on His word daily, to make Him the priority. to answer to the call of wisdom and move forward with understanding the knowledge wisdom has given me, to speak against doubt and replace it with faith by calling what God's word says about me and my movements. And so much more. He is moving me from my comfort zone, from living in survival mode, from reacting in fear, from living in doubt, from shrinking, from confusion, from running.

To renew anything, it has to be worked on. There's a waiting period before results show, but that waiting was never meant to be sitting still, hoping something magically appears. There's a season when the thing is working on you, and a season when it's working for you. Surrendering to God's renewal only works with belief and trust attached. Not giving up when it doesn't look the way we pictured. Renewal rarely does while we're still in it. That's what "wait upon the Lord" means. The Hebrew word is qavah, to twist together like a rope. One thread snaps alone, but twist a few strands together, the rope becomes stronger. What if we twist ourselves tightly with God? We stay bound to Him while He works, and we move too, because just holding on isn't enough. We know the truth, but knowing isn't enough. Walking in the truth literally means movement. The renewing process never stops. God takes us from one level to the next through His word, and as we live it out and trust Him through the parts that don't make sense yet, we rise again. The cycle continues. So what if I do nothing? There's no such thing as fate. Whatever we've wrapped ourselves tightly with will have the stronger grip on us. We're either gripping renewal with God, or gripping what the world hands us. What rope do you want to hold onto? That's the renewing process, choosing the grip, every day

New leadership training for women: The Capacity Code

My family comes from a line of carpenters, electricians, plumbers, remodelers, builders, artists. When I look at an old piece of furniture, I think about sanding it, refinishing it, restoring it into something new. I didn't see my own life this way until these two lessons. Right now I'm in a season of growing and shedding. To evolve, I have to surrender to the process and give myself permission to let go of the past so I can become a better version of what is now. Think of a classic car from the 1970's. Neglected. Engine needs work, paint's gone. But it has what mechanics call "strong body." An old house might have "strong bones." Sometimes the whole thing needs to come apart, but there's always something left to build from. I'm still alive, so I know there's more work to be done in this vessel God created. That takes effort. Eating better restores the body to its potential, and when we eat better, we think better, we look better, we feel better. It takes replacing old thoughts with new ones, so the old spirit that left doesn't come back with seven worse ones. Ephesians 4:22-24 says to put off the old self, corrupted by deceitful desires, to be renewed in the spirit of our minds, and to put on the new self, created after God in righteousness and true holiness. How can God restore us if we're still holding onto the ruins of who we used to be? Sometimes it's like Job. He never turned from God, and God wasn't calling him to repent from wickedness, yet he still went through the trial. I heard it said: there isn't an opportunity to choose good if there isn't an opportunity to choose bad. So in our decision to stand with God, renew our minds, and submit to His word, that's where the smoothing, cleaning, and fixing happens. And we come out the other side a new and improved version of who we were.

How can these two not go hand in hand. Sometime I wonder how my words fit together and if it's understandable and Angela taught me,"pull the pin, drop the bomb and walk way." Romans reminds us that left to ourselves, we don't seek God. Faith comes by hearing His Word, whether spoken directly, like to Abram (now Abraham), or through someone else, like Moses. God talks to us Himself or He calls us to move through someone else or He calls us to repent. We live in a fallen world, and some things happen to us that we never chose. And because we live in a fallen world, and because we don't naturally seek God to begin with, when something happens to us that we never would have chosen, it's natural to struggle believing there's a God in control at all. The reformation isn't in the event, it's in what it produces in us and who we let shape us next. Will I let fear and pain reform me? Or will I let God reform my mind through His Words? And we know when God is calling us. There is something within us that recognizes it. Abram wasn't seeking after God. His family worshipped idols. So how did Abram know it was THE God calling him to leave his country and his family behind? This type of reforming requires surrender. Life teaches us to trust our own understanding, our own control. God asks us to trust His instead. But here is where alignment comes in after being reformed: Jesus warned that an empty house doesn't stay empty. If old thinking is removed and never replaced, something worse comes back. "7 spirits worse than the first return." Rejecting the old isn't enough. We replace it with truth, we replace it with obedience and submission. That's where reformation and realignment goes hand in hand. As God renews or reforms our minds, our lives fall into alignment with Him who made us.