don’t talk about this often, but I’ve had several abusive, toxic relationships. Five times I thought this one will be different. Five times I ignored the knot in my stomach. Five times I shrank myself so someone else could feel big. For years, I thought it was them. And yes—what they did was real. Nothing was good enough; the worst relationship was 20 years ago. He was overly nice and fun at first, but he got mean as time went on. Sometimes as I looked out the window while he drove, he accused me of looking at other men; also, he demanded me to stop seeing my mother and my friends; also he tried to keep my children away from me. This lasted 2.5 years, and I left him and went back to him 4 times. The truth that changed my life was this: I was choosing familiar pain because I didn’t believe I deserved anything better. I finally went to a counselor who helped me see it was abuse and not my fault, except for continuing to choose this pattern . So I finally left him and lived in a women’s shelter as. I pulled myself together by sitting with myself, being silent, and turning off the chatter in my mind, finally believing that i deserved better. I had to become consciously aware of thinking and feeling good.

2 days ago my friend drove to visit me at my moms place. I took him to see the COPE (Center of Protective Environment) where I stayed in their women’s shelter, getting away from an abusive man I was married to. I felt closure and coming full circle.

This question was proposed by a young lady who is actually a member here. I would love to get everyone’s thoughts: How do divorced people know they were great partners? Like on what scale? Who tells them? Do they just tell themselves?? Are they getting biased opinions from the people around them? I see it quite often, I was a great wife I was a great husband but why did a good one marry a bad one?? HOW DO THEY KNOW?!

what I’m finding is that everything with humans that resemble suffering is a kink it’s one big BDSM session. why? because dopamine Is released when one is suffering or experiencing pain. your shadow is a mf ain’t it? 💀

Women stopped honoring themselves for the male gaze. They stopped honoring themselves and other women. I posted this because this is the inner battle that most women have dwelling inside of them. Feel free to discuss in the comments.