1. Boundaries - Definition: Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what is safe, appropriate, and acceptable between people. - Function in family: They create trust and predictability. For example, respecting personal space, emotional privacy, or taboo topics maintains psychological safety. - Violation impact: When boundaries are ignored — whether emotional, physical, or sexual — it signals a breakdown in relational integrity. The “family contract” is implicitly violated. - Key takeaway: Healthy family relationships are boundary-conscious. The presence of clear, mutually respected limits is a primary indicator that someone genuinely treats you as family. 2. Mutual care - Definition: Mutual care is an ongoing, two-way expression of concern, protection, and nurturing. - Function in family: Family isn’t just about sharing DNA; it’s about actively supporting each other’s well-being, respecting vulnerabilities, and offering empathy without exploitation. - Violation impact: When someone acts in ways that serve their desires at your expense, or disregards your emotional safety, that’s a signal they’re not truly practicing mutual care. - Key takeaway: Genuine family members hold each other’s welfare as a priority. The absence of this care reflects relational misalignment. 3. Shared ethical standards - Definition: Shared ethical standards are the common moral agreements that guide behavior, especially regarding trust, intimacy, and respect. - Function in family: These unwritten rules ensure everyone knows the relational code — what’s safe, what’s taboo, what’s appropriate. - Violation impact: Ignoring these standards — e.g., by crossing intimate boundaries — is a sign that the person does not perceive the relationship as ethical-family. - Key takeaway: Shared ethics are the lens through which family integrity is maintained. Without them, labels like “brother,” “sister,” or “in-law” become hollow.