WEEKLY FREE COPY REVIEW (headline mastery)

Tyson FourDee

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Aug 17 • 🔍 Weekly Review

## The Copy:

Here's a practice headline from a 4D Bootcamp student...

*Business owners struggling with converting their sales calls*

*Learn how thousands of business owners are using the cash closing method to close 70% of their existing leads*

*No matter the niche*

Time to destroy it...

## The Review:

For the first line, it's not terrible, but you always want to use the industry language. Because if they believe you can understand them and they feel understood, then they're also going to believe you have the solution to their problems.

And that stems from being relatable to them, which also comes from speaking in their language. So a more specific line would be: *Business owners losing money from low close rates*

More the main headline, a few things:

- How many thousands of business owners? Can you add a more specific number there so it seems more believable, and so that the proof element is stronger?

- You use the word "closing" and "close" in the same sentence. So it is a bit repetitive.

- Also, there's a difference between a lead and a call. In this case, you say leads, so I'm gonna assume the solution has to do with that, but just something to be aware of.

A slightly better version of this might be: *Learn how 5,700+ business owners (from beginners to 9-figure titans) are converting 70% of their leads with "cash closing."*

Now for the final part of the headline, I would add more "even if" objection statements that are also relatable. So like: *No matter the niche, offer, or sales process.*

There you go.

Weekly reviews are BACK.

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