WEEKLY COPY REVIEW (HEADLINE DESTRUCTION) · 4D Copywriting Community

Tyson FourDee

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20d • 🔍 Weekly Review

WEEKLY COPY REVIEW (HEADLINE DESTRUCTION)

The Copy:

Another headline from a bootcamp student. Today this is a piece of free value they made.

Here's the headline:

Worried AI will replace your income?

Learn How You Can Make $20-30k/mo By Using The Power Of Human Connection

WITHOUT: Draining your wallet with ads, recording content at 2am or having any prior experience

Alright... before we get into the review, can you even take a WILD guess what this is actually about?

It's for a sales coaching program......

😂

No disrespect at all, but this is not gonna fly. Let's go to the review:

The Review:

Point #1: This is WAYYYYY to witty and complex. Wtf is "the power of human connection"? That sounds like some woo-woo stuff lol

Also, this is to a biz-op audience (AKA: make money). It talks about replacing their income. So why do we mention things that are relatable to business owners? Like recording context or spending money on ads. That is not relevant at all to your average person working a job.

If you want to fix this headline:

Go more so from the angle of "the only AI-proof online business model", not "the power of human connection ✨"
Be more direct about the fact that it is online closing (sounds slightly different and less boring than just "sales")
Make the deck copy something actually relevant to normal people

Boom. Headline speedrun.

Now go make 10x more headlines for a funnel to improve your copy 🫡

Tyson

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