Staying Calm as a Preschool Teacher When Behaviors Escalate

Nobody tells the teacher what to do in that split second.

When teachers ask me how to manage big feelings in a preschool classroom, what they usually describe is the children. The behaviors. The meltdowns. The child who will not come to the carpet.

Almost never what it costs us to absorb it.

I understand why. We are trained to look outward. So we have language for a child's hard moment and almost none for the thing happening in our own body at the same time. The shoulders. The voice we did not choose. The guilt at nap time that follows us all the way to the car.

Here is what I have come to believe:

You are not losing your patience. You are absorbing a room full of big feelings all day with nowhere to put your own.

That is not a character flaw. That is a body doing what bodies do.

Think of the last time a child swept the blocks off the shelf, or tore down your bulletin board. Your shoulders were probably up before you decided anything.

That reaction was faster than thought. It was already underway before you had a chance to choose it. Which is exactly why "be more patient" has never once worked, for you or for anyone. You cannot decide your way out of something that already happened.

There are a hundred resources out there for calming the children. There are almost none for the teacher standing in the middle of it.

Jennifer said it better than I could:

"I've been seeking this in so many places but it's always about regulating the kids. Everything says, the teacher will feel this way too. But they never tell the teacher what to do for yourself in that split second."

So I made something that does. The Regulated Room is 90 minutes of audio, broken into five themes, built for the teacher and not the child.

90 minutes. That is one summer afternoon. Do it in a single sitting, or take one theme at a time over five mornings. Whatever way works for you.

More than 117 teachers have already gone through it. I asked them for their honest feedback at the end, and I would rather they tell you than me.

Jennifer, again:

"I've always been so calm in all my years teaching. There was such a shift last year that broke me. I cannot control the students or their behaviors. But I can control me. I was tired of white knuckling. I need peace in order to have a peaceful classroom."

"That resilience is not standing tall while suffering yourself. You break. And I broke last year. And I faced harsh judgment because I was always the calm teacher. But I can have grace for myself."

"I have a plan now. I have tools now. I'm not terrified to start school now."

Ina:

"Learning about the backpack, how my childhood discipline is affecting how I react. I have learned self-awareness, to stop, pause, and assess before I react. I plan to use these tools to make my classroom one that my students can feel safe, cared for and thrive in. This is most definitely worth putting the money into."

LaTara:

"My words have power. My reaction sets the tone. Remembering my why, and that it's okay to reset."

Sarah:

"I have a good foundation for when we go back to school this fall. Just do it. It doesn't require a lot of time and it is really beneficial."

You're already doing the math on whether you can fit this in. I would be too.

So let me make it easy. 90 minutes. One summer morning with your coffee. Less time than you will spend cutting laminate this August.

The hard part will not be finding the time. It will be spending it on yourself.🫶🏼

We are so used to giving it to everyone else. Do it anyway.

The Regulated Room is $19 in the Classroom (regular price $49).

90 minutes of audio in five themes, the workbooks, the posters, the Regulated Teacher Deck, a custom song for each theme, and a certificate of completion when you finish.

Jennifer, on what she loved about the course:

"The podcasts were wonderful! I'm excited to use the cards. I loved the posters that pulled everything together as well. I even enjoyed the songs. Music is a release tool for me."

Tell me in the comments: what is the moment in your day when you feel it in your body first?

Morning drop off? Transitions? Clean up?

Cathy

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Staying Calm as a Preschool Teacher When Behaviors Escalate